Space
“Attitude is a choice.”
We often tell our clients about a 30 and 90 day rule. It relates to the fact that we are all called to be generative governors (life-giving leaders). As co-heirs of a Kingdom, we have been tasked with tending the flock and the fields they occupy.
Our great privilege and our responsibility are the same.
Lead and love well, what is right in front of us. Use the talents, resources, and time we have in the way that best serves the most precious asset in the Kingdom, His children.
We actually learned the 30/90 day rule from a church in Chicago. It really helps leaders provide appropriate leadership and oversight to those they are responsible.
It goes something like this…
- 90 day rule - if an employee’s performance isn’t meeting expectations, set two appointments 90 days apart. At the first, let them know how they are performing and describe what the right level of performance looks like. Tell them you will support them with tools, coaching, training, etc. to help them get there. But if they are not at that newly established level of performance when you meet again, they will need to find another place to work.
- 30 day rule - if an employee’s attitude isn’t meeting expectations, set two appointments 30 days apart. At the first, let them know what their attitude is like and what an acceptable attitude looks like for the team. Tell them you will support them with tools, coaching, training, etc. to help them get there. But if they are not operating with an appropriate attitude when you meet again, they will need to find another place to work.
There needs to be a certain level of intolerance when it comes to leadership. God is glorified when we do things beautifully, excellently, and bring life to others. We need to commit time and resources for training, proper tools, coaching, etc. to help team members grow and advance, but if they don’t meet expectations in terms of performance or behavior, it is our responsibility to deal with the problem.
Attitude is always a choice.
Susan David writes about "Emotional Agility." She says that emotions are valuable data points, but not directives as to how you should respond.
- Fear - can save your life
- Anger - points to an injustice you might be called to address
- Sadness - is a result of some misalignment between the way things are and how you would like them to be
Emotionally healthy people don’t feel and react, but try to understand why they are feeling that way and address the issue. Emotionally unhealthy people see every emotion as justification for their responses, appropriate or not. Healthy people create space between what they feel and how they respond. They allow appropriate room before they leap to a response.
Maybe Pavlov’s dog couldn’t pause between stimulus and response, but we should be able to.
Victor Frankl said:
Between stimulus and response there is a space.
And in that space is our power to choose.
And it is in that choice that comes our growth and freedom.
Modeling healthy attitudes and responses is our responsibility. Requiring it of others is the pathway to growth and freedom. As generative governors, we are supposed to be offering and emulating the currency of the Kingdom, this space and freedom, to others in every sphere of our lives.
- Do you have unhealthy people on your team? (Are you one of them?)
- Do you have people on your team that seem to have no filter between what they feel and what they say?
- You likely already know who they are and what you are supposed to do. Are you ready to find the courage of your convictions?
- Who do you need to apply the 30 day rule to? When are you going to do it?
- What is it costing the rest of your team if you don’t?