Problems
I arrived at this conclusion over a decade ago. I had a friend in a problem marriage. We were meeting to discuss how to deal with things and possibly solve some of the challenges they were facing. It became very clear that he didn’t feel like any of the problems they were facing were related to him. He said it was 100% due to his wife. I asked him if he could identify even 1% of the problem as being his. He said, “No.”…
“Own 100% of your 1%.”
I arrived at this conclusion over a decade ago. I had a friend in a problem marriage. We were meeting to discuss how to deal with things and possibly solve some of the challenges they were facing. It became very clear that he didn’t feel like any of the problems they were facing were related to him. He said it was 100% due to his wife. I asked him if he could identify even 1% of the problem as being his. He said, “No.”
After that, we quit meeting and talking about his marriage. I realized if he could at least admit to 1% being related to him, we could focus 100% on that 1% and see some change occur. He couldn’t. It didn’t change. The inevitable divorce occurred soon after. When I first attributed 100% of my previous marriage problems to my wife, divorce was likely to occur. Things didn’t really change until I took some of the blame and owned my role completely. Turned out that a lot more of the problem was related to me.
A lot more.
An embarrassing amount more.
It is the same with the business and organizations represented by the leaders we work with every day. They all initially say that their problems are related to the economy, the business climate of their industry, the employees they have, their attitudes, proficiency, work ethic, etc. But real change doesn’t occur until the leader can own 100% of the problems that are theirs.
Like trying to complete a puzzle, you first have to create the frame or framework of the puzzle if it is going to be completed or solved.
Those problems are hard to see on your own but can be fairly obvious to an invested and thoughtful third party (that is the role we get to play!). Here are some of the more common “problems” we find:
Problem with control - What are the things I need to let go of?
Problem with perfectionism - Where is the tyranny of excellence keeping me from moving on to other things?
Problem with indecisiveness - Where am I having trouble making decisions?
Problem with focus - What issues need my attention?
Problem with expectations - Where are they lacking clarity on what I am wanting from them?
Problem with alignment - Where are they not clear and on board with where we are going as a company?
Problem with engagement - Are my team members clear on their roles and how they help fulfill the organization’s vision?
We all have to wrestle with issues and problems that are seemingly beyond our control, but my experience in marriage and in business is that I typically own a percentage of them (and way more than I initially thought). Owning my contribution to the problem was the necessary first step in solving all of them.
Consider
Do you have any issues in your marriage or business?
Are you clear on what role you are playing in creating them?
Can you at least find 1% of the problem to own as a first step in solving the problem?
Who have you given the right to help you see what is so hard for you to see on your own?