Unfamiliar
“I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
- Robert Frost
It was ripe for a man like me to get caught in the trap of arrogance. I am an Enneagram 8, full of self-determination and believing that everything I think is right. With a high D & I on the DISC scale, I am used to driving to my conclusion and convincing others I am right. As a buy-side investment manager with billions under my direction, there were a lot of people that wanted to stroke that sense of my being right.
Maybe it was out of some mistakes I made in my investing role, a humbling by the financial markets, or some incredible grace that was shown to me by the people I served, but another posture in me started to emerge.
Maybe I didn’t have all the answers.
Maybe there were others more knowledgeable & experienced than I.
Maybe I needed to listen more and assume less.
It was a very unfamiliar place for me to learn to live.
Once a salesman got through all my filters and managed to get me on the phone, the stroking began. They told me all the things my ego most desired to hear and had spent most of my life trying to engineer. They told me what a big shot I was and how much they would like to help me.
I don’t know how the words initially came to me, but I began to use the same ones in almost every prospective salesman call I made. After the initial stroking, they would typically ask what I was currently trying to buy. I would say:
“I am just smart enough to know that there are a lot of people smarter than me.”
That simple statement completely changed my posture and the conversation itself. I asked them what their smartest clients were doing and readied myself to learn from their wisdom and experience. After a recalibration of the normal salesman/buyer dynamic, really beautiful things emerged.
Some salesmen survived on ego-stroking for their business, but for some of the ones that didn’t, we cultivated great long-term relationships. They learned to call with suggestions, wisdom, and experience gleaned from others. I learned to be humble and open to what others had to say.
I am still in recovery. I like to have things my way and get what I want. I have to fight the urge to think that everything I believe is right. But I’ve made some progress. This is a season of not leading, but enjoying others’ success and trying to hold onto humility.
In all kinds of situations, I am finding myself mumbling that simple phrase. I am smart enough to realize there are people all around me smarter than me. That no longer threatens me but makes me feel less burdened and more secure.
Consider
Are you the one everyone expects to have the right answer in your world?
How have you helped cultivate that burden and responsibility?
Do you know there are people a lot smarter than you on pretty much everything?
Do you have the humility to enjoy living with that perspective?