Wall

“All in all it's just another brick in the wall.

All in all you're just another brick in the wall.”

- Pink Floyd

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Hang with me here.  This is going to get pretty spiritual…

Before the men’s events I co-lead as part of the Alamo Band of Brothers, we gather to pray for “advance words”.  That is, we ask God to help reveal some understanding of the men that will be attending.

What is going on in their lives?

What challenges are they facing?

What is set against them?

What is their collective burden?

What would be helpful for us to know about them?

Sometimes we get very specific words, but often there are concepts or even images.  (Interestingly enough, the “advance words” we receive are always powerfully borne out to be true once we begin to encounter the men and their stories over the weekend.)

One of the more specific and powerful images we received before this last event was of a man with bloodied hands and head from endlessly pounding his fists and melon against a brick wall.  Ironically, once he stopped all that ineffective beating, the wall magically fell down by itself.

The interpretation was clear.  A lot of these men have been working their tails off and making very little progress (in their career, marriages, parenting, and every arena of their lives).  The temptation and the implicit guidance of the culture (and even Christendom) is to just work harder.  

More trying, more effort, more discipline.  (That was exhausting to even write that!)

One of my all time favorite movies is “Warrior”.  Pretty rough, but it gets me every time and I have seen it quite a few times.  Brandon finds himself in the cage against a bigger and seemingly better opponent.  He gets brief reprieves between rounds.  He is moments from either blacking out or needing to tap out.  His manager repeatedly says something that completely takes me by surprise:

“Relax Brandon.  Breathe.”

As in, stop trying to break free.  

Relax, gain your composure.  

Assess the situation.  

Quit trying so hard.

It is going to be okay.

So counterintuitive and such spot-on advice.  Have you ever found yourself working harder and harder to accomplish something that just doesn’t appear to allow any progress?  You know that feeling, right?  I know I do.

Sometimes, working harder or longer is not the answer.  Sometimes stepping back from the wall and assessing the situation is the way to go.  Sometimes, drawing upon wise counsel or all the wisdom and power of heaven is the answer.

You might find it interesting to know that I have been in coaching situations with leaders where the very clear words that came to me in a crucial situation were…

“Take a deep breath.  Breathe.  Relax.  We will find a way through this.”

They need to hear that like I need to hear it.  Like we all need to hear it sometimes.  Maybe you need to hear it right now.  As it turns out there were about 70 men that largely needed to hear it a few weekends ago.

Consider

• Is there anything in your life you aren’t making any progress on?

• Have you tried working harder and longer to fix the problem?

• When is the last time you took a step back and just took a breath?  Allowed yourself some room to assess and think it through?  Prayed about the issue or honestly invited some wise counsel into the situation?

Observation

"Your ears are open but you don’t hear a thing.

    Your eyes are awake but you don’t see a thing.

The people are blockheads!

They stick their fingers in their ears

    so they won’t have to listen.”

- Jesus of Nazareth

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After six years of a successful run at managing my first investment portfolio near the start of my banking career, it seemed to be over in an instant.  My bank had been acquired and while I managed just north of $1 billion in fixed income assets, it was folded simply into the much bigger portfolio of the acquiring bank.  My position was the first to be eliminated in the acquisition.

After an aggressive 90 day search which took me to the end of my ability and the severance I had received, I got a call about a job in Chicago.  To say that there was a lot riding on my full day of interviews in the windy city would be a gross understatement.

I got to the last of my six interviews at the end of the day and it was in a corner glass office on the 40th floor of 311 South Wacker.  The two sides of the corner faced the old 110 story Sears Tower next door and the 22,000 square miles of Lake Michigan.  Thankfully the very well dressed Regional Director for the company was tied up for another 5-10 minutes before he could join me.

Once I got over the immensity of both the lake and the adjoining building (the town in Texas I was coming from had a tallest building of 8 floors and a lake measured in square acres), I started to look around the office.  There was:

• a gym bag with tennis equipment

• a putter from a golf bag

• numerous sales awards

• lots of family photos

• a meticulously clean desk

• a painting with his first and last name on it

• a bible on his back credenza

While I was being considered for a position that relied on my market experience, the position required selling as well.  After some get-to-know-you questions, he asked:

Him: What makes you think you can sell?

Me: When I am passionate about something and believe it is in the other’s best interest, I am pretty relentless at convincing them of the same.

Him: That’s good, what else makes you think you can sell?

Me: Well, I read people really quickly.

Him: That’s super interesting.  Tell me about myself.

Me: You are driven by success, but your family is really important to you as well.  And while you are competitive and an athlete, you have an artistic side.  Finally, your desire for success and achievement is grounded by an even deeper set of core convictions that anchor your life.

Him: Wow!  That’s pretty accurate.

The good news is that the job and our time in Chicago irreversibly changed our marriage and family for good and helped define the next decade and a half of my career, eventually back here in Texas.

Did I really know this guy from sitting in his office?  No.  But by being given the privilege of some time in his office, I came to a pretty powerful understanding of who he is and what motivates him.  The lesson of that experience has never left me.

If I will have eyes to see…

If I will be slow to speak and quick to listen…

If i will simply observe instead of dominate…

If I will ask questions to understand and not to control…

…there is a wealth of information to learn about other things and other people.  There is a glory to everyone’s life.  That treasure hunt is available in every conversation.  With your spouse, your children, your employees, or pretty much anyone else you will ever meet.  It is being in the posture of holy observation that can change everything.

Consider

• How well do you know the people around you?

• How much time do you spend in observation?

• How much time do you spend in dictation?

• How perceptive are you about the even holier observation that the Spirit provides while in holy observation?

Adversity

"If you learn to use it right, the adversity, it will buy you a ticket to a place you couldn't have gone any other way."

- UVA basketball coach Tony Bennett

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Do you know what has happened 139 times?  The number 1 seed defeating the 16 seed in the NCAA tournament.

Do you know what has happened 1 time?  The number 16 seed defeating the 1 seed in the NCAA tournament.

Number 1 seeds are 139-1.  That auspicious loss was experienced by the Virginia Cavaliers.  Yeah, the same team that won the NCAA tournament this year.  And that quote by the coach became a frequent refrain this season after he heard it on a TED talk recommended by his wife.  Because the difficulty of your life either becomes the experiential currency of your life as redeemed or the intending tragedy of future experiences if not addressed.

One of my favorite quotes on this topic comes from Mark Batterson:

“Every past experience is preparation for some future opportunity.  God doesn’t just redeem our souls.  He also redeems our experiences.  And not just the good ones.  He redeems the bad ones too—especially the bad ones.  How? By cultivating character, developing gifts, and teaching lessons that cannot be learned any other way.”

If you attend one of our LifePlan retreats or a corporate retreat with your team, you will likely experience us hitting that concept pretty hard.  We do it a little more exhaustively in a LifePlan retreat, but even in our corporate engagements, we construct a company timeline from inception to current day.

We look at all the great experiences and success as well as all the challenges they’ve overcome and battles they have successfully fought.  And why?  Because all those experiences, both the good and the bad, are treasures to be excavated, mined, studied and captured for future success.

What will it teach us?  More than most of us realize.

Ironically, most leaders we work with…

• Have a hard time remembering or recognizing the good.

• Don’t see any redemptive value in the bad.

Is it any wonder that we find ourselves regularly encouraging them to celebrate the success of their teams and look for redemptive perspectives in the challenges they’ve faced?  Literally use the adversity to buy a ticket to a place that they couldn’t have gone any other way (as coach Bennett or whoever he heard it from is known to say).

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

— George Santayana

It might not surprise you that most companies or people don’t initially see much value in reviewing their pasts.  Some people have spent their entire lives trying to forget the tragedy of their stories.  But to almost every person we work with (and certainly in every corporate engagement), the value they glean from those exercises becomes a highlight of the work we do with them.

I recently asked the owners of a successful design firm to list the highlights of their prior year.  I got brief half-hearted responses from both of them.  But once we started an exercise of capturing the highlights with them and their team, we completely filled up a 2 x 3 foot flip chart with dozens of good things and had to start abbreviating and using smaller script just to get everything on the page.

HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MADE EVERYONE FEEL ABOUT THE COMPANY?

Make sure you are celebrating the good and mining the bad for the treasure that is there.  Or else!

CONSIDER

• When is the last time you celebrated your team’s accomplishments with them?

• Do you regularly take stock of both the good and the redeemed value of the bad?

• What is keeping you from doing that?

• What is it costing you?
  

Veiled

“And we all, who with unveiled faces reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

- Paul to the church in Corinth

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A new friend and client was regaling me with some of the extraordinary history of the early Coptic that his family emanates from.  He recently told me about how they give a new name to a person before they enter the priesthood in the Coptic faith.  It is such a rich and compelling picture that I haven’t been able to get it out of mind.

(Disclaimer: I am sure this is mostly right, but I am sure it has migrated a bit in my recollection. )

An Australian college philosophy professor and avowed atheist went on a journey after the death of his mother and found faith and Coptic Christianity.  The process of becoming a Coptic Monk meant that he had to go through training and an extraordinary ceremony to become a new man with a new identity.

In many ways like a funeral, he was covered with a shroud, the old man was pronounced dead, the shroud was removed and he was given a new name: “Lazarus”. Father Anthony El Lazarus is now a Coptic monk living in seclusion in the Red Sea mountains, in a 4th-century monastery about 200 miles southeast of Cairo, Egypt.  

There is a fascinating short documentary on Vimeo about his story.  (And yes, the irony of his new name being Lazarus is not lost on me.)

It is pretty interesting that a traditional marriage ceremony involves the removing of a veil and the taking of a new name by the bride.  And that Moses was so transformed by the experience of encountering God that he had to veil his face because of the overwhelming evidence of that glory on him.

What you might find even more interesting is that I have witnessed something similar to the Coptic renaming dozens of times:

• At men’s retreats I co-lead - we send them out to ask God about what other names or identities He knows them by.  The dozens of stories I have now heard are almost beyond belief and description.

• At LifePlan retreats and other stuff I help lead - The faces…clarity, new identity, inspiration, the tears…the new understanding of who God says they are.  I did this with some college kids recently.  Some of most rewarding things you will ever experience.

• And, believe it or not, in select corporate coaching situations with business folks.  I’ve got some awesome stories about that as well.

“What can be more a man’s own than this new name which even in eternity remains a secret between God and him?  And what shall we take this secrecy to mean? Surely, that each of the redeemed shall forever know and praise some one aspect of the divine beauty better than any other creature can. Why else were individuals created, but that God, loving all infinitely, should love each differently?”

— C.S. Lewis

Who you are at the deepest level is something that even predates your name and the identity you have grown into.  The Coptic’s are not creating a new identity as much as they are claiming the deeper truth of a person’s identify.  There is something glorious and important about your life that is crucially important for you to know.

A new name.  

A new identity.  

The glory of your creator manifested in His creation.

Consider

• Do you know who you are?

• Deep beyond deep, what is the truest thing about you?

• How crucial do you think it is to know that?

• If you have found that, how are you living into that inspirational identity?

Integration

“So they’ll be as unified and together as we are—I in them and you in me.  Then they’ll be mature in this oneness.”

- John

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A lot of our conversations with leaders is starting to include the Enneagram.  It is an ancient typing system that has really caught fire over the last few years.  We actually encourage three typing tests because of their low cost, approachability, and unique insights they provide.  Each of these can be found online for free or very little cost.

DISC - measures personality and behavioral style.

StrengthsFinder - identifies five areas of unique talent among a broader list of 34.

Enneagram - identifies you against 9 different personality types and across a spectrum of healthy to unhealthy with that number.

The Enneagram is the one you have likely heard less about but may be the most valuable depending on the person.  The spectrum for each type (or number) ranges from:

Disintegrated/Unhealthy/Unredeemed

to

Integrated/Healthy/Redeemed

Integrated is the place of being wholehearted, healthy, and free.  For people of faith, it is also the place of walking very closely with God.  It’s being so “integrated” into the life of the Father that your thoughts, actions, and attitudes more closely resemble his.

You likely know when you are integrated and when you are not.

I was hanging out with a bunch of men’s ministry leaders a few Saturdays ago.  While most of us were guys doing this stuff avocationally and locally, one leads a team with a large international footprint.

Backyard, sun, light breeze, barbecue, beers, cigars…and other-worldly conversation.  The chaos and uncertainty of this age seemed to be weighing heavy on the hearts and minds of many.  Someone asked about the ability to hold onto hope and joy, given the backdrop of everything happening in the world.  The guy with the international ministry said two simple things that have changed pretty much every day since I heard them.

• Integration with the Father is the only way to survive.

• The barometer for integration is joy.

I don’t know how much people would identify me as joyful, but I definitely want more of that.  And this practice isn’t a once a week or before each day kind of thing, but something regular and continuous:

Start of the day.

End of the day.

At regular intervals during the day.

In your calendar.

At regular points of inflection.

I learned a consecration process that we teach our leaders.  It centers, integrates, creates space, gives strength/protection, and invites the wisdom of the age.  I do it in the morning, at the end of the day, and before virtually every meeting I have with everyone.  It has changed everything.

And that is a good thing.  The integrated version of my Enneagram 8 is supposed to be powerful, inspiring, and impactful.  The disintegrated description of me is pretty terrifying.  Healthy eights are some of the most extraordinary leaders on the planet, and unhealthy ones are some of the most notorious dictators, narcissists, and evil people that have ever lived.

Turns out that being more integrated not only allows me to operate with more Kingdom perspective despite the world around me, it profoundly informs the way I love, lead, and influence the world.  I am much more able to offer hope and inspiration.  Partnering more intentionally with the authority, wisdom, and discernment of heaven, has qualitatively changed what I bring to every conversation.

I still spend far too much time operating in my own strength, but stopping to regularly integrate is slowing changing who I am and how I live.  I am recovering joy.  And it is definitely changing the way I view the world around me.

Consider

• How integrated do you feel?  (wholehearted, healthy, etc.)

• How integrated do you feel to the Father?

• Are there natural breaks in the rhythm of your day where you could stop and reintegrate?

• How different might your life and leadership look if you did?

Logo

“Logotherapy was developed by neurologist and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, on a concept based on the premise that the primary motivational force of an individual is to find a meaning in life.”

- Wikipedia

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Sorry if you were looking for a marketing post.  We aren’t going to be talking about branding, marketing, or logos.  If you need help with that, contact my friend Erik Svendsen at Reddoor Creative.  He is a world class talent that pretty much touches every printed thing we offer.

This actually, is a far more important conversation about “logos”.  It is the one referenced in the definition above.

After surviving a Holocaust experience, Victor Frankl became a psychotherapist and ended up in the Viennese hospital system where they had a tremendous problem with depression and suicide.  Translating and redeeming the horrors of his experience under the Nazis helped him create a simple three-step process that is now known as Logotherapy:

1. Identify a simple project that if you don’t work on, someone will suffer.  Something that makes the world a better place.

2. Find a redemptive perspective on your suffering or pain.

3. Get a group of unconditionally supportive people around you.

Doing these things will not only help you with depression, but it will also change your life.

It will provide an inspired purpose for your life.

It will allow you to reinterpret the story of your life for good.

It will allow your story to become powerful currency toward a much better future.

It will make sure you have the encouragement and support to get you there.

Logotherapy is very foundational to how we coach and plays a very specific role in our Lifeplan weekend experience.  By the end of the weekend, you have redeemed your entire story (and found how it very specifically serves your future), figured out an inspired purpose for your life, and identified next steps in that direction with some understanding of the people who will help you get there.

Back to Frankl, his Holocaust experience, and all those depressed and suicidal patients.  Frankl’s redemptive perspective on his persecution in the concentration camp that kept him from committing suicide like so many others alongside him: dying at their hands instead of taking his own life would help be part of telling the world about the evil that killed him.

It is said that he worked with as many as 20,000 Viennese patients utilizing his Logotherapy…and never lost a single one to suicide.

So is it possible to rewrite your life story, finding redemptive value in every experience?  Can you use that redeemed story to powerfully inform a better future?  Is there really an inspired purpose for your life?

The answer to all three of those questions is an emphatic “YES”.  The proof is in Victor Frankl’s life, 20,000 Viennese patients, the hundreds that we have coached through our Lifeplan process, and my own life.  I exchanged a tragic family history, an uninspiring career, and a frustrated life, for one that I still don’t believe I am getting to live.

The life I live, the client relationships I have, my friendships, and the transcendental purpose that guides all of that is more than I could have ever hoped or imagined.  I feel like my life has gone from a book that no one would want to read to what feels like a real page-turner.

Consider

• Are you clear about the purpose of your life?

• Are you working on something with your life that is making a difference in the world?

• Do you feel pinned down or trapped by the tragedy of the life you’ve lived?

• Do you have people around you who unconditionally support you in the direction of a more inspired life?
  
  

Questions

“Life is completely shaped by the questions you are asking.”

- George McDonald

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I’ve learned a lot about clarifying messages.  I heard a podcast, went to a conference, read a book, and then became a certified guide in a message clarifying process called “StoryBrand.”  Most of the other guides are in the marketing space and I suppose it is just another tool in their toolkit for how they help clients.

I think, possibly because I am not a full-time marketing person with experience and an expansive toolkit, it has become something way more than another tool.

It has become a worldview.

Okay, not that kind of worldview.  Not a spiritual one.  I have one of those also that supersedes and transcends everything in my life, but when it comes to any kind of messaging (e-mail, text, presentations, blog posts, group interactions, or even job postings) it is the governing worldview of how I write, speak, and help others do the same.

We will likely write a book one day about our extensive process for taking companies from chaos to clarity through our coaching process.  Leading them from uncertainty to a certain future with a focused team, clear roadmap, and an easy to execute plan to get there.  It will have lots of chapters, lots of anecdotes, and be full of the experiential currency that only comes from time in the field.

But let me clarify and simplify.  A peek behind the curtain, as it were.  At the end of the day, when we work with a client, we are really only helping them answer four simple questions:

Who?

Why?

Where?

How?

Why would anyone pay us to do that?  Why would anyone buy a book that helps them clarify how to do this?  

Good questions.

The answer is that we are all overwhelmed with questions every day.  They aren’t big ones like these.  They are small, less directional, and don’t really do anything to move us toward a more inspired future.  Most of us need some protected space, a simple and methodical process, and a guide to help clarify and drive execution.

We often say, “Everyone arrives somewhere, but very few people arrive somewhere on purpose.”  We think arriving somewhere on purpose should be the guiding true north for every organizational leader.

We use lots of media and clever group exercises.  We are really good at moving a group in a collaborative direction in an inspired manner.  But actually, our really simple (but not easy) process that we guide all our clients through essentially only answers those four simple questions:

Who?  …is the right subset of your team that should comprise a leadership team?

Why?  …What is the purpose of what we are doing that should guide our organization?

Where?  …do we want to be 2-4 years from now?  (A clearly defined picture of the future.)

How?  …are we going to get there?  What is the strategic plan, goals, initiatives, and accountability structure that will take us to that destination?

If you choose the right team, have them help craft an inspired purpose, define an exciting destination in the future, create a plan to get there, and then execute on that plan, I promise you will arrive somewhere on purpose.  And, you won’t have trouble attracting talent, customers, or growing your business.

Give it a shot on your own.

Get our book if we ever get around to writing it.

Contact us and we’ll help you get it done.

Consider

• Do you spend all your time answering questions and solving problems?

• Are you also answering the bigger, more important questions?

• Do you know the “Why”, “Where”, and “How” of your organization?

• How have you identified the right “Who”?  Did they feel ownership and commitment to the answers to those other questions?

• What do you need to do next to get this done?

Behavior

“The longest journey a man will ever take is the 18 inches from his head to his heart.”

- Unknown

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I spent a lot of years trying to sanctify the life I had lived, the decisions I had made, and possibly even my family of origin.  The Baptist church I was baptized in at 19 said some really cool things about me coming “Just as I am” and the new bible I was reading said some pretty amazing stuff about forgiveness; past, present, and future.  I think I intellectually accepted all that, but I am not sure that I really believed it at the deepest level. Not in the core of my being…at the level of the heart.

As a very driven guy who wants to excel at whatever I put my shoulder to, I leaned hard into Christianity.  I read all their books, watched all their movies, listened only to their music, and comprehensively set out to modify my actions with the all the best tips and techniques and behavior modification I could muster.  I knew perfection was out of the question, but I certainly wasn’t going to let anyone try harder than me.

The harder I worked, the greater the divide grew.  The distance between me and my wife, my children, friends, the standards I set, and even from God, seemed to be widening.  Raising the expectations of myself and my children, in particular, seemed to only increase the sense of discouragement and failure.

Heart knowledge of God, as a primary category, came like a revelation to me.  And a rescue.  With the heart as the primary operating system, I not only had the desire to be more the man that God intended, I seemed to have more of the ability.  Rather than furiously working to modify my behavior, operating out of a changed heart led to:

• greater conversational intimacy with God

• an ability to listen to and walk with the Holy Spirit

• finding more of the desires of my heart aligning with the desires of my Father

Not trying as hard, but living out of this new operating system, seemed to more radically change my heart and my behavior.  I finally felt encouraged with momentum toward my Father’s desire for my life.

The other revelation was that the behavior modification I was driving my children with would likely not sustain them when they ventured from my side.  If they learned to modify their behavior based on the cultural norms of our home and Christian culture without a truly changed heart, what would happen when the cultural norms they were predominantly around changed?

My legalistic need to drive behavior modification in both my life and that of my children came from a very broken place where the love and intimacy of a relationship with the Father was an unknown category.

What my children really needed was:

• a new operating system

• a heart of flesh

• intimacy and heart knowledge of God as their true Father

The new understanding that was changing and sustaining me would do the same for them.  It is also the answer for everyone else I feel called to lead in my personal or professional arenas.  I need to continue the arduous journey from head to my heart, getting lost in Him…and invite as many people as I possibly can to join me for the ride.

Consider

• Are you frustrated, discouraged, and losing momentum?

• How much of your life is consumed by doing life on your own, apart from God?

• Is your head or your heart the primary operating system for your life?

Harness

“Time is on my side, yes it is

Time is on my side, yes it is” 

- The Rolling Stones

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Our family loves to have movie nights.  It has been a real challenge to find movies that we consider family friendly, but still meet the standard of a quality movie.  Finding something we feel is appropriate for our young teenagers that doesn’t insult their sensibilities is getting harder and harder.

Recently we watched The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind, a Netflix production that is available now on that platform.  Compelling storytelling of the true story of a drought-ridden farmer and his family in Malawi that are facing the extinction of their way of life.  A thinly educated son with a creative mind figures out a way to “make the rain” that they so desperately need.

The boys’ father is incredulous about his idea.  There is a finite amount of rain, it comes when it wants and it is impossible to control.  Of course, the boy is not a rain-maker who magically conjures the rain, but just one who has learned to harness the power of the wind to pump water from the ground so that they can have “rain” year-round to water their crops.

Most leaders have a similar but different problem.  They don’t seem to have enough time to effectively get everything done:

• Not enough to balance their life and work

• Not enough to work on the business instead of just in it

• Not enough to strategically plan for the future

• Not enough to make wise and thoughtful hiring decisions

• Not enough to train their teams or drive culture

• Not enough to get appropriate downtime to relax and recharge

The interesting thing is we run with a tribe of leaders that are finding time to do all of those things.  And guess what? They have not magically figured out a way to multiply time, but they are harnessing the power of their time better.  

We have a quiver full or really great tools that we aggressively apply, but often it just comes down to learning to see things through a new set of lenses.  Embracing new concepts that can powerfully change the way you lead.  One of our favorite concepts is…

You cannot expect others to do something as well on the first time as you have done on the hundredth time.

Let that sink in for a minute.

We continue to hold onto tasks that someone else could eventually do as well (or maybe even better), because they (OF COURSE) will not do it as well as we do it on the first time as we do on the hundredth or thousandth time we’ve done the same thing.

• If you would teach someone else to do a task that takes you 10 minutes a day on average, it would give you back a full week a year!

• If you would teach someone else to do something that takes you 30 minutes a day on average, it would give you back 3 weeks a year!

The issue with not having enough time is almost always linked to our inefficient leadership.  We haven’t stopped long enough to train others, refine our processes, or simply gotten comfortable with trusting someone else to do the things we do. 

Consider

• Are you harnessing time well?

• As your business, organization, or family grows, are you getting more stretched and overworked?

• Are you actively using tools to force you to focus and manage your time better?

• Are you getting comfortable with delegating and trusting in the ways that help you multiply your time?

Hurry

“You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.” 

- Dallas Willard

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I know the face well.  When I talk to individuals or groups of leaders, I have seen that face, those eyes, hundreds of times.  It is a look that says, “I know what you are saying is theoretically true, but it isn’t true for me,” or even… 

“You don’t know my life or circumstance.”

How do I know that many of them are thinking that?  Because I have heard it said so many times.  We talk a lot about the “unforced rhythms of grace” that Jesus talked about.  We reference that he said that we should “come away with him” and that he would teach us how to live “easily and lightly”.  But that feels like it was meant for the person on my left or right; certainly not me.

For many of us, those words can feel like a rescue, an antidote to these busy and troubled times.  For some of us, they can feel like an assault.  Because if we have made an agreement that the only life available is busy, hurried, and completely without any margin, there is no hope of any other.

We spend a lot of time with leaders working toward concepts like “ideal week”, delegation, and even “Essentialism”.  What are the things that only you can do?  While Western culture Christianity applauds doing bigger and more, it seemed to be the antithesis of the life of Jesus.  He continually got away and only dealt with crowds when he was forced.

I overhead a national men’s ministry leader say recently:

“God is nowhere in your desire to be amazing.”

We have actually had to get to the place with leaders where we are helping them break agreements.  We all carry them and they are very deep-seated and so entrenched that we now regard them as truth.  They are deep, spiritual, and defining for all of us, but absolutely untrue.

That allows us to see another set of eyes.  These ones look back with a suspicious “How did you know that?” Most of these agreements are so deeply embedded in our belief systems that identifying them as agreed-to lies is a revelation.  When they are broken, it is almost like a shroud is lifted off and the eyes are immediately a shade clearer.

The world is busy and getting busier.  There isn’t a lot we can do about that.  Hurry, on the other hand, is a choice.  You have gotten to “hurried" through a series of agreements and choices that have to be systematically eliminated.

One of the secrets of coaching is that we aren’t here to identify your problems or even prescribe solutions.  You already know what those are.  The beauty and power of coaching is that all of us need someone operating with a high degree of care to help us discover our own problems and determine our own solutions.  And then help provide accountability to make sure we follow through.  Someone to help us identify what is so bunkered into our lives through layers of agreements and hurriedness.

Block 15-30 minutes, clear your heart and mind, and then honestly try to answer these questions.

Consider

• What is the “hurry” in your life that you need to eliminate?

• What needs to change in order for you to experience the “freely and lightly” and “unforced rhythms of grace” that Jesus referenced?

• What agreements have you made about the condition of your life or circumstance that you need to break?  (They are literally pinning you down to the state you are in.)

• What is it costing those you love and lead that you are living in such a hurried state?

• Who will hold you accountable to the change?

Future

col·lo·qui·al·ism

/kəˈlōkwēəˌlizəm/

A word or phrase that is not formal or literary, typically one used in ordinary or familiar conversation.

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We use a lot of business colloquialisms.  They are born of a mash-up of various coaching certifications, a lot of business book reading, numerous podcast listens, Kingdom theology, and 50 years of combined business management, consulting, and coaching.  They are standing the test of time and our resolve around them is deepening.

One of them I find we are referencing with increasing frequency is:

The present must be made to serve the future.

The tyranny of the urgent is alive and well and our technological connectedness seems to be increasing the volume and accessibility of that urgency.  We are drowning in the urgent and are often so consumed with surviving the day-to-day, that imagining a more inspired future almost seems an impossibility…a bridge too far.

Another thing we frequently tell leaders is that:

Everyone arrives somewhere, but very few people arrive somewhere on purpose.

The probability that you will be mired in the same situation with very similar frustrations and challenges a year from now, is about 100%…unless you do something really different from what you have been doing.

Once you get really clear on who you are (purpose and values);

Living those out should intend a very different future (vision).

That inspired vision of the future will naturally drive the way you operate today.  That present will start to serve the future.  

Or it won’t.

The reasons the present doesn’t serve the future for most companies is:

• most don’t really have a real vision (a clearly articulated picture of what the future looks like)

• they don’t treat their vision like a commitment to them, their teams, or their families

• they haven’t included key team members in crafting values, purpose, of the vision that results from living those things out

• they spend all their time on the urgent and don’t work on the clear obstacles that must be solved to realize that future

• they don’t have a guide (friend, mentor, peer, coach) that is requiring that they execute on the necessary strategic focus areas to ensure that inspired future comes to reality

Companies we work with that articulate a clear vision with their teams find a compelling inevitability that allows them to:

• hire key positions sooner

• make hard firing decisions faster

• make strategic investments more confidently

• be really comfortable with aggressive coaching and accountability

• delegate more easily

• reorganize their companies and their schedules to more effectively address the things that will get them there

So, may you arrive somewhere on purpose next year.  May you assemble a great team, craft values and a purpose, and translate that into an inspired vision.  May you force the present to serve that future by operating differently and finding some kind of guide.

Consider

• Do you and your team know who you are (values & purpose)?  It is articulated, celebrated, & taught?

• Have you articulated a clear picture of a desired future (vision)?

• Do you have a clear strategic plan that addresses the obstacles to that future?

• Are you allowing anyone to hold you accountable?

Eighty

“The Pareto principle (also known as the 80/20 rule, the law of the vital few, or the principle of factor sparsity states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.”

- Wikipedia

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You often hear this talked about in terms of sales concentration for a company.  For example; “80% of our sales come from 20% of our clients”.  Or in the not-for-profit world it often sounds like “20% of the people doing 80% of the work” or “80% of our funding comes from 20% of the donors”.  Sometimes you will hear it discussed in terms of wealth distribution.  There have been numerous studies both domestically and internationally that show an approximate 80% of wealth is being held in the hands of 20% of the population.

I heard it again recently in a different context.  One of our coaching team members visited a very successful Kingdom company.  When they looked at how they were investing their excess proceeds from the business, they were:

• Investing about 20% in the growth, development, and needs of their employees.

• Investing about 80% in addressing the lives and concerns of everyone else.

Now, this is a very intentional company.  Maybe the most I’ve ever encountered.  At least the one that is the most public about their intentionality.  The 80% was going to ministries locally, nationally, and abroad.  There were many ministries that were receiving sizable contributions from this singular business.  

What could possibly be wrong with that?

Something didn’t seem right.  They needed a different perspective.  A Kingdom perspective.  They realized that the portion of the world they were most responsible for was right in front of them.  It was their employees, their families, and the lives of every other person their business impacted that they were most responsible for.

Being a co-heir of the Kingdom…being the generative governors (literally life-giving leaders) meant the lives of the people entrusted to them needed to be the highest priority and focus.  Something had to change.  They chose a path way less traveled.  They flipped the switch on old Pareto.

They decided to invest 80% in their people and the remaining 20% in all those other things.  For example, instead of sending checks to Africa, they would send their employees, their families, and resources with them.  They would pay all their expenses, pay them salary while they were there, and remove any obstacle to the transformation that would occur for the places they were going, but more importantly for the lives of the people going.

The results have been nothing short of staggering.  There is an incredible multiplier effect in every way.  Employees are humbled and transformed.  Families are knitted more closely together.  Employee engagement, productivity, commitment, and care is through the roof.  And there seems to be an almost limitless supply of resources available to keep pushing the envelope on doing even more of the same (with their employees and others).

So why wouldn’t everyone do this?  Why isn’t this the norm for all companies?  

Maybe this isn’t the issue for anyone but me, but what I give and how I give it is the enemy’s playground.  When I give to a ministry, it is known, acknowledged, heck, it’s even tax deductible.  When I put $200 in an envelope for someone I know is really in need, it is almost completely invisible.  Except to me and the other people involved.  When I truly invest in people, it often isn’t known by anyone but me and them.  (Oh yeah, and God.  Kind of a big deal that he is aware of everything I do and don’t do!)

If I am completely honest, I like the acknowledgement.  I like others being aware of how I give.  Heck, I like the tax deduction.  Maybe that is the same for other individuals and companies.

But I am trying to grow and mature.  Increasingly, I am learning to invest and give in ways that are largely unknown.  I am trying to focus on the people and things God has placed right in front of me.  I want to be a better generative governor.  I want to delight more in the success and growth of others than myself.  Restoration is a very long process.

Consider

• Do you and your business give a lot of money and time away?

• How much of that goes to the lives right in front of you and how much goes to others?

• Are you investing in the lives, development, and transformation of your employees, their families, and everyone else entrusted to you?

• Who is getting your 80 and who is getting your 20?

Owner

“Leadership is a stewardship and you are accountable.” 

- Andy Stanley

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Sometimes we work directly with leaders on an owner’s team, but we are always working with the owner (partners or sole proprietor).  Virtually all of the leaders we work with operate within a Judeo/Christian worldview.  So, given those foundational beliefs, what does ownership really mean?

We use terms like:

• Stewardship - being a caretaker for the resources of another

• Kingdom - transcending the order and culture of this world for a more God-ordered way of viewing things

• Generative Governance - literally, “life-giving leadership”

There is a nobility in those terms.  A sense of honor with an incredible implied sense of responsibility.  And many of us were infatuated with the authority (and privilege) that came with leadership long before we ever got comfortable with the burden of responsibility that came as well.

We feel like we have to spend a lot of time with our leaders reminding them of the nobility and honor that comes with their leadership.  They are all painfully aware of their own challenges as leaders, and they lead in a culture that is working overtime to focus on the frailty and failing of business leaders.  We are fighting for them to retain the picture of the glory intended in their leadership.

I am a recovering legalist.  I used to traffic in the currency of shame and retribution, reminding everyone (including myself) of failure, mistake, sin, and shame.  In my experience, most of us, especially leaders, have a firm grasp on all of that.  Most of us wear it like a shroud.  

And our enemy is working overtime with a very attentive audience.

One of the fantastic leaders we are working with to start the year seems to be working hard to manage the balance of privilege and responsibility well.  She has created a truly unique business model that is growing exponentially and is working on structuring it to take the concept nationwide.  She will.  She has an inspired vision, the capability, and I believe we have the roadmap to mature her business and help her get there.

She said one of her mentors told her that there are three things that an owner cannot outsource:

• vision

• accountability

• finances

We couldn’t agree more, but we would likely add a fourth thing to the list.  

• vision

• accountability

• finances

• culture

Her sense of doing the right things, work ethic, creative problem solving, entrepreneurialism, customer focus, and caring for others, is being modeled and felt by all her employees.  Or it is not.  She is defining the culture through the way she operates.

That can’t be sourced to someone else.

Whether or not the culture has been defined well through values, purpose, and future vision (we definitely believe it should be), the way she operates is setting the tone for company culture.  While it is really helpful to have others help you define it, only she can truly own that responsibility.

We all know how daunting, challenging, and discouraging being an owner or senior leader can be.  It is our mission to help restore the nobility of that leadership and help keep both those tensions in balance.

Consider

• How aware are you of the weight, responsibility, and challenges you carry in your leadership role?

• How aware are you of the glory and privilege of your leadership?

• Are you managing the tension of those two things well?

• Do you have others around you reminding you of the honor and privilege of leadership?

Place

“So when Jesus directs us to pray, ‘Thy kingdom come,’ he does not mean we should pray for it to come into existence. Rather, we pray for it to take over at all points in the personal, social, and political order where it is now excluded: ‘On earth as it is in heaven.’” 

- Dallas Willard

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Maybe it is the fact that I sort of raised myself, making many of the decisions in my formative years that an adult typically helps guide.  Maybe it is the uglier self-protective side of my Enneagram 8 shining through.  Maybe it is the orphan spirit in me that sort of feels like I am on my own and in my own category.

But for whatever reason, I’ve never really been affected much by the wealth or power of other people.  I have had a relatively easier time being around people of significant means and not being particularly affected by that fact.  It has served me really well:

• when apparently everyone at my university seemed to come from a dramatically better financial position and only a few of us worked full-time jobs

• when my position professionally (though not my title) required me to be in rooms with the most powerful people making the biggest decisions

• where living on the financial fringe of a very affluent neighborhood meant that much of the privilege others enjoyed were not ours to have

Surprisingly, I was very comfortable in all those environments.  That ability was not really challenged again until I entered the arena of coaching.  Though I engaged in hundreds of “coaching” conversations a year avocationally, would it change if money entered into the equation vocationally?  The man who first identified me as a coach was fearless, undaunted, and seemed to ask the questions no one would ask and say the things that no one would say.

He also had a lot of freedom of movement.  He wasn’t really relying on the person sitting across from him to financially provide for his way of life.  I assumed it was that freedom that allowed him to be such a staggeringly good coach.  When he identified gifting in me as a coach, my heart answered “yes”, but I knew I wanted to be the kind of coach he was and would likely never enjoy the kind of freedom I associated with his audacity.

That tension is reconciled in almost every coaching conversation I have.  Before every engagement with a team or individual, I go through a pretty rigorous prayer process to consecrate, reveal, take authority, declare, and submit.  I clear the air and the motivations of my heart. 

It is hard to hear and see the heart of the Father when you are seeing dollar signs.

It has been essential, and I believe it is working.

Last week I spent time with three teams of people.  One was with our largest and wealthiest client, the second was with a growing partnership where the billing is a small fraction of the largest, and the third was with a small practice where there was no expectation of remuneration for the coaching.

All were beautiful in their own way.  All were very pleased with the deliverable and seemed to be deeply impacted by the process.  I honestly feel like I approached all three with a similar heart.  My desire to help them find the best versions of themselves was not correlated to dollars, size, or power.   I celebrated the victory from the week and deeply enjoyed the process with all three.

But it is Monday morning.  Our enemy prowls.  I have a full week of individual one-on-ones and two group interactions ahead of me.  I will be consecrating, asking for revelation, taking my place in his authority, declaring the Kingdom, and submitting to him.  Out of necessity.

This is the work of the Kingdom and all have a place, have everything in common, and the ways we assign power and authority here in this world have no jurisdiction in that one.  It is about taking my place and helping everyone else find theirs.

Consider

• How aware are you of the power and wealth others seem to hold in contrast to you?

• Does it affect the way you behave around them?

• What needs to change in order for you to interact with them with more of the culture of the Kingdom?

Useful

“Now that I have gone through my initiation, I am ready for anything, anywhere.” 

- Apostle Paul

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What if nothing was wasted? 

The good, the bad.  

The glory and the wreckage of our lives.  

What if every bit of it had value?  

Every part had meaning and redeemable purpose?

That would mean that everything that you felt had disqualified you to make a difference and do something extraordinary with your life, was exactly the opposite.

One of the most glorious gifts of the Kingdom is that, as redeemed, even the challenges, screw-ups, mistakes, and missteps of our lives, are to our further qualification.  Instead of disqualifying us from having an impact, they are actually the fuel or the experiential currency necessary to live an impactful life.

When I started to look at the low points of my life as preparation instead of disqualification, I went from victim to victor.  I am not disqualified, but even more qualified.  While I felt that I was running through a thick forest, bouncing off one tree and then another, there was a beautiful and powerful different interpretation available.

When I was able to stand back and take some time, both the challenging times and the good, the thick forest and the clearings, were all aligning in a powerful path.  I started to see all of those experiences not as disqualifications, but as an initiation for something more and better.

The challenging times were no longer depleting, but part and parcel with the joy and glory and of inestimable value.  Nothing was wasted.  Everything mattered.  All was equal and useful.

This is the treasure in the field that you should sell everything to purchase that field.  This is the path to monetizing all that experiential currency.  This is the way you uniquely offer his hands and feet.  The particular way you offer his glory and operate as a co-heir of his Kingdom.  Maybe there are many ways to determining this sort of pathway through your deeply forested life and journey, but I found it through a LifePlan retreat.

Where the challenging trees once seemed foreboding and ominous, I could now admire their glory, the strengthening resolve of them.  The guidepost they provided.  Instead of being overwhelmed, shadowed, damp, and lost, they now illuminated a path.

Not only was every significant event of my life (both the good and bad) repurposed in my mind, they became markers that vectored my life into a powerful, clear, and inspiring direction.  With evidence so incontrovertible, that I couldn’t venture in that direction.  And not only was the path now clear, I was aware of how tooled up and prepared I was for the journey.

Every day has been different.  Every experience useful.  I found different perspective and purpose.  As Oswald says, “Launch all on the rising tide of God’s purpose and get yourself lost.”

If any of this conversation stirs your heart, follow the thread all the way to the end.  Go after this treasure of great price and don’t stop until you find it.  If you are interested in taking the journey I took, we still have spots available for our upcoming LifePlan retreat, March 29-31.

Consider

• Do you feel like you are disqualified?

• Do you know that everything you have ever experienced is actually part of your glory?

• Are you interested in redeeming your entire story and rewriting the direction of your life?

• How much are you willing to risk to find it?

Pawn

“In chess, the little one can become the big one.”   

- from Queen of Katwe

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Interesting how a photo can speak such volumes.  Typically, this one focuses on the king and queen.  The other players on the board are blurred, blocked, or otherwise not visible.  While I am not sure of the reason or the point of view of the photographer, the imagery speaks volumes.

In the Queen of Katwe, Fiona is little. Economically, socially, and in pretty much every other way you might imagine.  She becomes fascinated with the budding chess club in her shanty town of Katwe, Uganda.  A young girl who seems even more little than her, tells her:

“In chess, the little one can become the big one.”

Fiona’s story is the stuff of inspiration and unearthed glory.  This is one to gather the family for a viewing.  From the first quote in my initial viewing of the trailer, I was hooked.

Queen of Katwe is in theaters September 30! Queen of Katwe is the colorful true story of a young girl selling corn on the streets of rural Uganda whose world rapidly changes when she is introduced to the game of chess, and, as a result of the support she receives from her family and community, is instilled with the confidence and determination she needs to pursue her dream of becoming an international chess champion.

One of my few remnants of a largely forgotten childhood is a plastic chess set that my dad and I used to frequent.  He was exhausted from a broken marriage, a struggling company, and a ridiculous work schedule.  A game of chess was one of the few things that would hold his attention well enough to keep him awake during our weekend visitations.  I am missing quite a few pieces now, but it is one of those things I can’t seem to discard.

Ironically, not only can the little one (pawn) become the big one (king), it plays a more crucial and active role in the game than the king ever could.  Don’t get me wrong, there is no game without the king, but it actually does very little to contribute to the game.

The pawns are the front line of defense.  They have limited movement, only one space or two and only in one direction.  But they can take down any other figure and when utilized well, often determine the outcome of the game.  They are the point of first engagement.

The rooks, bishops, knights, and queen are the talent.  They move in fancy hop-step-jump fashion, can slash completely across the board, or pretty much go wherever they want, in the case of the queen.  They garnish pretty much all of the attention of the game but would be completely lost without the pawns.

The king does nothing other than try to stay alive.  In fact, the entire game is built on every other player on the board either trying to take him down (opposing team) or keep him alive (his team).  And to make sure we don’t miss this crucial point, with no king, there is no game.  This is not an attempt to undermine the value of the king, but a desire to elevate the value of every other player on the board.

In the game of business, the king is crucial, but it is the pawns and other players that do the majority of the work and largely determine the outcome.  

It should raise the nobility of all of us.  We all exist and were created to serve a King.

Consider

• How aware are you that every other player on your board is at the service of the king?  

• Do you walk in the humility that being a good king requires?

• Are you cognizant of how critical those front line pawns are in your organization?

• Are you and the rest of the assumed “talent” clear on their roles and do you value the others on the board that are crucial to your success?

Harmony

“You can’t truly be considered successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles.”  

- Zig Ziglar

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One of the most elusive destinations for leaders and organizations is “life-work balance”.  Everyone is trying to solve this problem.  So are we.

We have a bunch of tools and have helped a lot of leaders make progress in managing their time and schedules.  In fact, one of our informal metrics has to do with how many leaders we have worked with that have achieved enough margin through their owner-to-team-lead transitions, that they actually take Friday or some other day off.

If they were filling those days with more Netflix or some other less fulfilling recreation, I might not be as proud of that, but they are using it for health, relational growth, mission, and even strategic thinking.  They are not only doing the sort of things that make a difference in the world but are improving who they are in ways that make them even more productive and impactful in the four days they do show up to work.

Back to the idea of “life-work balance”.  I think one of the reasons that it is so elusive is that it is the wrong objective to be striving for.  Even our folks that are grabbing an additional day off still spend more of their waking hours working than they do anything else and more time with the people there than any others.

It will never be in balance.

It is like Andy Stanley would differentiate: this is not a problem to be solved, but a tension to manage.  

The real destination is not to find “balance”, but to achieve “harmony”.  What we really want is for neither of those two key domains of our lives to be in conflict.  We want them to work in tandem, one serving the other and making us better in both.

One of the leaders we work with told me that this was the best season of his life.  He said that the progress he was making at work in his leadership role was allowing him to enter his home more refreshed and available for his family and life there.  Because that was improving the quality of his non-working life, he was returning to the office more invigorated and less depleted than in prior seasons.

He was not only achieving life-work harmony, but there was a synergistic effect occurring where he was actually better in both…because of the other!

Does anybody else know what that feels like?  That is the kind of elusive destination we should all be striving to gain.  That is a battle worth fighting and a hill worth climbing.

And I’ll let you in on a little secret, I think it is virtually impossible to achieve unless you first get your professional life and company in order first.  There is too much time spent there, too much carryover, and too much identity tied up in it.  It seems to just mercilessly and endlessly spill over into the rest of your life…

Unless you systematically commit to a path toward changing things.

Work/life can find harmony.

One can serve the other.

Both can be better because of the other.

One leader I know hikes every Friday now.  He strengthens his body, clears his mind, thinks more strategically about his life/work, and even drags others along who need that type of experience.  He often sends me a picture of his feet, resting on some rock in some beautiful place at the end of his hike.  How good is that?

Another is going to be spending a couple of days a month this year in another state walking ministry/business leaders through the process he has found so much success with his own company.  He has found so much margin and success in his business that he is paying it forward with a bunch of other leaders.  How beautiful is that?

These are the sort of things that become possible when life and work are in harmony.

Consider

• Have you been striving for life/work balance?

• Does life/work harmony seem to make more sense?

• What are you going to do differently this year to arrive somewhere different than you arrived at the end of this last one?

Billboard

“It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only one bad one to lose it.”  

- Benjamin Franklin

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Our organization design process is detailed, specific, and really powerful.  

At the end of that rainbow is:

• powerful clarity for every employee that connects their work to vision and purpose

• a specific understanding of the result needed from every employee

• an understanding of the tactical and strategic tasks that will help accomplish that result

• a performance measurement mechanism for every employee

• a clear organizational map to the future

• incontrovertible clarity that makes hiring, firing, and promoting decisions much easier and painless

• an easy and invigorating template for employee reviews

One of our convictions revealed in this process is that every organization has some form of:

• Marketing

• Administration

• Production

• Sales

We refer to it as MAPS.  Maybe there aren’t designated people or departments that perform these functions, but for every company, these four key functions need to be operating in order for an organization to be successful.  

Every company we talk to has already identified some aspect of Administration (paperwork, people, and all that other stuff that gets done behind the scenes) and Production (whatever product we produce or service we provide).  Some identify Marketing or Sales, but very few differentiate or categorize the distinct nature of those two key functions.

Many small businesses enjoy a good reputation and survive primarily through referrals and repeat business.  And if you are running a business and not enjoying that, you have a very serious problem.  In the aggressively socially connected world we are operating in, everything is known.

How good you are and how bad you are.

If you are doing things well, people are talking about you. 

If you are doing things poorly, people are talking about you.

Whether you are aware of it or not, your company has a billboard and it is right beside the highway of every person’s life.  What yours is saying and how you cultivate the feeling people have about it is crucially important to your future success.  Believe me, it is not blank.  It is saying something.

Ironically, studies show that “likes” or starred reviews are impacting decision-making in far greater measure than personal referrals are.  They are one of the forms of billboards your company has.  And with 2-3,000 marketing messages bombarding us on a daily basis, just doing a good job is not enough to sustain your business any longer.  You had better be:

• Marketing - telling others about how what you provide solves people’s problems

• Selling - converting that goodwill and possibility of impact to actual transactions

Lest you think that this is already too big a pill to swallow, there is something else we are seeing really great companies do to provide a third stabilizing leg to that stool:

• Marketing

• Sales

• Hospitality - caring, listening, and attending to their needs or concerns

Your easiest next transaction should come from the customers you already have, either through repeat business or connecting you to others.  In an electronically socially connected world that is so personally disconnected, there is tremendous opportunity and tremendous risk.

People are quick to emotionally identify with brands, products, or services or to be angry, frustrated, and emotionally disconnected as a result of them.  Not only is Hospitality the essential path you must take to a sustainable and growing business, it is your best opportunity to know your customers in such a way that you can better and change their lives.

That is the higher bar of business purpose that renders all the other purposes relatively meaningless.

Consider

• What are you doing for Marketing and Sales in your business?

• Have you differentiated the two and know who owns both of those categories?

• Are you aware of your reputation and how powerfully that is affecting your business success?

• Are you spending any time on Hospitality: listening to, caring for, and attending to the needs and concerns of your customers?

• Are you aware of what your “billboard” is saying and are you taking care of your customers in a way that makes sure it is good?

Hidden

“…the gold's not in the ground.  The gold's not anywhere up here. The real gold is south of 60 - sittin' in livin' rooms, stuck facin' the boob tube, bored to death. Bored to death.”  

- bush pilot Rosie Little from “Never Cry Wolf”

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There is a show that my wife likes. Correction, there is a show that my wife along with millions of other Americans likes. The premise is this: find the worst looking house on the street in the nicest neighborhood and restore the hidden glory of the home. Take what is hidden beneath a bunch of decay, neglect, or just really poor design choices and restore it into the nicest house on the block.

Not only are they a cottage industry unto themselves (launching their own network in 2019, by the way), they have lifted the entire economy of their beloved Waco where they do all their work. Hotel and VRBO rates double on the weekends throughout the year, when people plan their pilgrimages to taste a little of this restoration work.

At a recent Christmas dinner for a few dozen folks, we honored what we saw in each of our Executive Board members in front of a large group that included their spouses. Rather than just speak to their incredible progress as leaders and business owners over the last 12 months, we tried to focus on what was below the surface.

The often unknown and unidentified glory in each of them.

Some of the spouses even remarked at how completely we “nailed” our description of their spouse.  The intended glory of each person’s life is the truest thing about them…the truest and often most hidden and unexplored.

What if we approached everyone with that image in mind? Like a women at a well who is from the wrong tribe, has chosen the wrong profession, and has made numerous bad decisions in her life.  What if we spoke to even that sort of “unclean” person with the glimpse of their hidden glory in mind?

What if we saw everyone with the eyes of an unconditional and loving father? Looking past the obvious flaws and claiming a vision that focused on the intended glory in each of them.

How would it change your life if someone looked at you that way?  What if someone looked past the dirt, scars, and markings of all the mistakes you had made and saw something truly glorious inside of you?  

Would that change your life?  Would it make you arrogant?

Or would it be the sort of rescue that just might change every day of the rest of your life?

As I heard that spouse talk about our acknowledging the hidden glory in their spouse, I knew it was true.  Because others have seen the glory in me and awakened my heart to the hidden potential inside of me, I work very hard to do likewise for others.

It has changed every day of my life and even as I sit here outside a SBUX scribbling these notes, my mind is flooded with all the situations from across the last 35 years of my life where I was given that gift.

The reality is that every conversation 

and every interaction 

with every person (spouse, child, employee, friend, or stranger), 

holds the prospect of a treasure hunt.  

An opportunity to unearth the hidden treasure and change the course of someone’s life.

I am taking what was done for me and trying to claim it as a standard operating procedure.  I want to make unearthing glory normative.  I am on a perpetual treasure hunt for gold that is not in the ground.

It is in each one of us.

Consider

• Are you aware of the glory hidden inside of you?

• Do you think it is possible to identify glory in others if you aren’t aware of your own?

• How do you think it might change the lives of everyone around you if you saw first their glory beyond everything else?

Linger

“Jesus is the human face on the kingdom of God. He makes it concretely accessible.” 

- Dallas Willard

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I’ve had a series of conversations as a result of a podcast I heard.  The podcast talked about all the anticipation and expectation tied to the Christmas season and the somewhat ironic hurry everyone seemed to be in to exit that season.

For most of us, we live a life during the Christmas season that is dramatically different than how we live the rest of the year.

• We gather more with loved ones and friends.

• We spend more focused time with immediate family.

• We honor one another with gifts.

• We spend less time at work and more time at play.

• We touch base with people we never see at any other time during the year.

• We reminisce about the past.

• We worship and acknowledge God’s invasion on our humanity.

The podcaster also acknowledged that there was something far larger going on than we might realize.  We were created for relationship, celebration, and worship.  God’s Kingdom here on earth is established and observed most powerfully in our love for Him and our love for one another.  We ache for all that.

The fact that our day to day reality, throughout most of the year, doesn’t embody the things we were created for, means that we enter the season with great longing and great anticipation.  We were created to live a Kingdom life and all that unfulfilled desire is fully loaded into our expectation of our Christmas season.

It should not surprise us that:

• we have so much anticipation about the coming Christmas season

• we experience great disappointment during that season

• we hastily pack away any remnant of the season and move on

The enemy of our joy stokes the fires of discontent and discord.  We bring all 365 days and decades worth of hope and expectation (that even the grandest Rockwellian expression of the Christmas season could not requite) to burden our current Christmastide.  It should not come as any surprise that we can easily find ourselves lonely, disconnected, and ready to exit the season as quickly as possible.

The antidote for all of this is to live every day throughout the year as fully in the Kingdom as possible.

It is to build into our weekly schedule; rest, friends, fellowship, and celebration.  To live enough of a Kingdom life that Christmas isn’t so inconsistent with the rest of our year.  Where the Christmas season is simply more about having other’s join us in a broader circle, for what we are enjoying all the time.

The challenge for this Christmas season is to linger.  To hold on.  To not pack away all that is glorious about this season and start pining for the next, but build it into our everyday reality. Jesus makes the Kingdom powerfully accessible, here and now.  Let’s take him up on His offer.

Consider

• How was your Christmastide?

• Despite how good it might have been, was there unrequited longing?

• How can you experience more of His Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven (as we do during this season) throughout the year?  What are you willing to commit to?