Choice
“It is the ability to choose which makes us human.”
- Madeleine L’Engle
One of the interesting things I've observed during the pandemic is how many people, moms especially, have reflected on their pre-COVID life with utter confusion. They look back and wonder how they kept up the pace of life that they did. School, soccer practice, band practice, birthday parties, meetings, emails, church, carpooling, cooking, sleeping, working, etc. How were they doing so much and still functioning as humans? And to what end?
In a podcast with Essentialism author, Greg McKeown, he talks about a conversation he had with his wife where they were trying to figure out the logistics of taking their son to baseball practice several times a week. They had signed him up because they thought he’d be disappointed if he didn’t get to play. In the middle of the discussion, McKeown called his son into the room to test his hypothesis:
“Son, we’re thinking about this baseball season. We’re wondering what your thoughts are about this - if we did it or didn’t do it?” Instant reaction: “Oh, it would be fine with me if we didn’t do it.”
Well, that solved it. No need to put forth all the time, effort, and money it would take to support their son playing a sport he wasn’t even really interested in playing. Why not put that time and energy into something he was excited about? From that point on, they became much more intentional with the things they put on their calendar. The clarifying question became: "Hold on.....Why are we doing this?"
I've noticed the same thing happening in my life. Over time, I can forget my ability to choose. I can blindly adopt the "I have to" mantra and operate as if I am a helpless victim of my current or past circumstances and required to simply go along with whatever comes my way. Sure, our options may be limited; during this pandemic, some of our options have been completely wiped out. But as McKeown mentions in his book:
"Options (things) can be taken away, but our ability to choose (free will) cannot be."
After that sobering conversation with his wife and son, he even started to exchange all of his “I have to’s” with “I choose to because…” so he could start taking ownership of his choices instead of pinning them on someone or something else.
Life is uncertain right now. In some ways, more than ever. But it's a great time to remember you still have the ability to choose how you spend your time, and how you respond to the people and the world that's around you. That ability has not changed, but it's likely been forgotten.
Does connecting with God help you? Make the time. Do you need to let go of something? Make the choice. Do you need to have a conversation? Make the call. With every deliberate choice, you'll remember how good it feels to be human again. And you might just get your life back in the process.
Consider
In what area of your life have you forgotten your ability to choose?
What do you find yourself complaining about the most lately, and is there something you can do about it?
Is there something you need to add or remove from your calendar? What is it and why?