Appearance

“Appearances are often deceiving.” 

- Aesop

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I used to take trains in Chicago with 5 AM type times on them.  That got me to the office in a 6 AM range.  It often felt like I was the only commuter headed to an office in a sea of commodity traders headed to the exchange.  

No one else was at the office when I arrived there.  Most of them rolled in around the 9 AM timeframe and soon after went for a coffee break or breakfast.

I had a lot of work to do.  Getting there early also allowed me to catch one of the express trains that left before 5 PM instead of catching one of the “milk run” trains later that took twice as long.  It wasn’t long before my 9 AM boss called me into his office to tell me that he didn’t like the optics of me running to the train station before 5 PM.

I told him I didn’t care how it looked.

He said it mattered.

I told him I got there 3 or so hours before everyone in the office.

He said no one sees that.

I told him I didn’t care.

I was in sales.  There was a scoreboard.  I was crushing the other guy in Chicago who had the same job and was second in North America to all my peers with the same position.  I’ll take performance over appearance any day. 

I still feel that way.  My newly determined “8” on the Enneagram test confirms that my feeling this way is pretty core to who I am.  And I think it is why I love the movie and the book Moneyball by Michael Lewis.  The idea that a numbers nerd would look past all the old standards of appearance in evaluating player potential resonates with something deep inside me.

It is also why, in a business sense, I am such a fan of measuring performance with metrics, KPIs, and all that stuff.  Our perception is always jaundiced.  It is weighted with our experience, an interpretive lens, and our well-honed bias.  It is important to try to see things as they are and not how they appear.

And it has never been more essential or difficult to find.

Even our institutions of higher education and our most vaunted news sources seem to be jaundiced with opinion or agenda.  Every story carrying a determined bias and each piece of information weaponized with a target in mind.

One of my spiritual mentors challenges that there is only one source that won’t deceive.  One interpretative lens that won’t misrepresent.  One voice that we can truly trust.  He says that conversational intimacy with God is the only antidote to these times.

Stilling and quieting your heart and mind, to the absence of all else, to hear the clarity, direction, and affection of the Father’s voice has become an essential port in this storm.  The vigilance it takes to find that quiet, that calm, is exhausting.  

And it is worth every ounce of the effort required.

Consider

• When is the last time you could hear yourself think?

• What are you seeing as you wish it was instead of how it really is?

• What in your life is confusing, overwhelming, or unclear?

• What is it costing you to not get still and quiet enough to hear the voice of God?

Change

“I can’t change the world, but I can change the world in me.” 

- Bono

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It is becoming very complicated to be a human, much less a leader of a business or an organization. I feel like there is confusion, misunderstanding, and I seem to be dodging a new landmine with each subsequent step.  I have become so fearful of saying the wrong thing that I am finding myself not saying much at all.

• I think I should be woke, but that seems to mean different things to different people.

• I think I want to move from empathy to activism, but I don’t really know what that entails.

• I don’t want to choose a particular side on any issue, but it seems like the rest of the world has.

• I even want to use the right version of the alphabet soup of LGB……, but they keep adding new letters and there is even a symbol at the end of the string now!

I think, at the end of the day, I want to be the person I was created to be.  I want to play the role I am uniquely created to play.  I want the world to change both in my life and my leadership, but I know that the change first has to occur in me.  A new friend bought me a copy of a book that is asking big questions:

“I know that I — that we — need a different direction.  Yet there are no processes in modern society through which to transform.  We are a world desperate for change and yet saddled with an outdated momentum.  Deep down we know something else is possible, but how to get there?  I came to learn that this transformation could begin in the lives of individuals.  No.  It had to begin in the lives of individuals.  Could there be a deeper call to adventure to life, to the edge of what we fear and long for?”

- “The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life” by Boyd Varty 

While there are “no processes in modern society through which to transform”, there are ways to get really clear on the path you are to be walking down to find that transformation.  I did not leave a successful and lucrative banking career because I just wanted to do something different.  Embarking on the adventure into coaching rested on two foundational ideas:

1. Our lives are intended for something far grander in God’s Kingdom than we have been led to believe.

2. The businesses and organizations we lead have a far more glorious and prosperous version available than we have found.

Once the transformation of my own life started to take hold, the opportunity to bring transformation to the things and people I led became a reality as well.  Leader clarity leads to organizational clarity.  Change starts in you and then ripples through your leadership and into everyone you come into contact with.

The Lifeplan retreats we have led for hundreds of individuals and the Strategic Enterprise retreats we have done for dozens of companies give everyone the opportunity to say:

“While I have never been less clear about the future, I have never been more clear that I am precisely on the right path.”

I can’t think of a more comforting thought in these uncertain times.

Consider

• Do you know who you are and where you are going?

• Does your life feel like you are living a particular adventure and contributing the thing you were created to offer?

• Does your family or business have a similar clarity?

• Are you ready to do something about it?  We can help.

Start-up

“We’re not going back to normal. If you’re a leader in an organization, it is time to rewrite your vision deck — that presentation so many organizations have that summarizes who you are, whom you serve, why you serve them, and what you do and how you do it.”

- Crouch, Keilhacker, and Blanchard

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I remember originally reading the article Leading Beyond the Blizzard: Why Every Organization Is Now a Startup in late March by Crouch, Keilhacker, and Blanchard.  It left me feeling both uneasy and hopeful.  Rereading it surprised me by how prophetic it was being so early in the cycle.

In late March, many were still contemplating whether or not they were just going to continue, business-as-usual.  This article served as a wake-up call for many of us.  For me, it served as a convincing articulation of my worst fears.

But it also offered an incredibly hopeful call-to-arms for leaders of faith:

“We write especially for leaders of businesses and nonprofit organizations who are fellow Christians because Christians of all people are equipped to face the current reality with both clear-eyed realism and unparalleled hope.”

It reminded me of the opening salvo by coach Herb Brooks of the U.S. men’s hockey team before they faced the Russians in 1980:

“Great moments are born from great opportunity.  And that is what you have here tonight, boys.  That is what you have earned here, tonight.”

I remember talking about the difference between a blizzard, a long winter, and an ice age with many of our clients.  Those distinctions were often unwanted, but always a sobering reality.  The best of them pivoted quickly.  They stayed away from the distinction of doing “better" or “worse” and just focused on things continuing but in a different way.  They adopted “business-not-as-usual” and just powered through.

We know a lot more now.  All of us have been affected in one way or another.  The present and future are more challenging than most of us expected.  Crouch, Keilhacker, and Blanchard forecasted the weather amazingly well.

But more importantly, they also nailed how Christian leaders should be operating with great hope in the opportunity this season provides.  It has never been more important to have the key building blocks of a great business in place.

• Team - having the right group of leaders running your company, organization or NFP

• Values/Purpose - knowing who you are at the deepest level

• Vision - what the inspired future looks like for your company

• Strategic Plan - what has to happen in order to that inspired future

• Meeting governance - the right meeting structure to provide accountability and keep you on track

We’ve helped many companies establish all five of those things in a two-day planning event we call a “Strategic Enterprise Retreat”.  I’m anticipating doing many more of them for the companies that have survived this last season but are needing to reset their business as a start-up.

To summarize what the writers of the above-referenced article said:

- We are experiencing an ice age.

- We are not going back to normal.

- Every business is now a start-up.

- We should be operating with clear-eyed realism and unparalleled hope.

If you would like to talk to us about helping you relaunch your start-up, let us know.  We will have a limited number of spots in the last half of the year to help companies reposition for success in 2021.

Consider

• Have you embraced the reality of the ice age we are in?

• Have you significantly pivoted or rethought your business model?

• Are you well-positioned for the new normal we will be living in from this point forward?

• What are the essential things you must do next?

Constraints

“The Theory of Constraints is a methodology for identifying the most important limiting factor (i.e. constraint) that stands in the way of achieving a goal and then systematically improving that constraint until it is no longer the limiting factor. In manufacturing, the constraint is often referred to as a bottleneck.”

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One of the many coaching certifications our coaching team carries is my partner Paul’s PMP project management one.  I have learned so much from him on this topic and one of the things I had to figure out from some of our earliest interactions was his term “chasing the constraint”.

We would be talking about our challenges or those of a client and it never seemed to bother him.  There is an indomitability that he brings to every situation, but this is something different.  It is the conviction that every organization has a problem or constraint that needs to be dealt with.

But not only that, solving that problem always leads to or exposes a problem elsewhere in the organization.  For instance:

• We have a real problem with lagging sales.  We focus all our guns in that direction and get the flywheel really spinning on business creation…

• Only to realize that we don’t have quite enough production capacity to handle the huge increase in sales.

• This reveals the fact that our administrative way of tracking and processing work doesn’t scale to greater volume well…

• And this produces delays in getting the work processed which causes cancellation of jobs sold and leads us back to a problem with having enough business.

The risk is that you get problem fatigue and don’t want to solve any of the constraints.  Or that you convince yourself there is only one and that if it gets fixed, everything will be okay and you will have no problems to deal with.  Those are both horrible mistakes.

Jesus was trying to exhort the disciples and said “In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

In other words, you WILL have trouble in this life but I will help you overcome all of them.  Don’t let yourself be surprised or discouraged by trouble in this life and take the easier burden and lighter yoke we find in God when we walk through our challenges with him.

In my frustration and overwhelm as a leader and a father, I have approached others with an unstated warning:

“Don’t you dare bring me any more problems!”

That is the opposite of “chasing the constraint” and it is pretty poor leadership.  

1. We need to believe that everything has a solution. 

2. We need to determine what issue is most pressing.

3. We need to focus our efforts to improve and solve that problem.

4. We need to know that there is likely another constraint or problem behind that one.

5. And that we will chase that constraint and solve it as well.

That is a complete perspective and game-changer!  And it is completely within your ability to claim and execute.  Just claiming that while installing a meeting mechanism to make sure execution happens will completely change an organization.

Consider

• Have you trained your family and team to not bring you any problems?

• Have you gotten comfortable with the idea that there will always be problems or issues that need to be solved?

• Do you have a process and meeting rhythm in place to ensure that constraints get identified and solved resolved?

See

“For this people’s heart has become calloused;

    they hardly hear with their ears,

    and they have closed their eyes.

Otherwise, they might see with their eyes,

    hear with their ears,

    understand with their hearts

and turn, and I would heal them.”

- Matthew

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If you ask me how I am doing, I will say, “Great!”  That is true in pretty much every area, most of the time. But I would be lying if I didn’t acknowledge that my fuse is a little shorter and my trigger finger a little tighter.  Trying to manage these crazy times and the sometimes even crazier reactions of others does take its toll.

Old Paul talks about being hard-pressed on every side.  I certainly am feeling that.  One of the areas where my patience tends to run most thin is with my teenagers.  After all the Zoom calls have stopped and I’ve pulled my mask from my face for the last time that day, I just want a little peace.  Or at least some quiet.

The girls were having a loud disagreement in the other room and I did what I have done far too often recently.  I yelled at them to both come see me.  The normal flow of things is for me to express how frustrated I am, ask them to talk to each other more respectfully, and usually take away their phones.

But I am praying for patience.  I am trying to offer the heart of the Father to them.

They round the corner bracing for impact, but something happened.  It was like I was seeing them for the first time.  I was overwhelmed with their beauty, the kindness of both of them, and all the good they are capable of and operate in most often.  I was experiencing their glory instead of focusing on how they were operating outside of that glory.

It was like the blurry and obscured came into clear focus.

I got pretty emotional as I told them how much I loved them.  As I described their beauty, what was so glorious about them, and reminded them of how painful it was for me to hear something unkind said between two women I loved so deeply.  In that rare moment, I was no longer the father I am at my worst, but offering the Father.

His heart.

His lovingkindness.

His mercy.

His grace.

Something shifted in that moment.  I am increasingly seeing them with those eyes.  And they seem to be doing much better with one another.  In a sort of chicken-or-egg, I am assuming the best in them and calling it out and they are acting more graciously to one another.  Or maybe it is the other way around.

But something has definitely shifted.

There is an ascending grace being offered by both of us toward one another that is finding purchase in a better version of all of us.

And I am making baby steps in that direction in other areas as well.  I want to see the crazy driver, the difficult attendant, the rioter, and the racist, with God’s eyes.  I want to move toward them in a way that continues to change me and gives them room to change as well.  I want to engage them in conversation and not just declare judgment or take everything as a personal affront.

Consider

• How tightly wound are you right now?  How itchy is your trigger finger?

• Are you having a hard time finding the best in others?

• What is it costing them?

• What is it costing you?

Vacation

“Vacation, all I ever wanted

Vacation, had to get away”

- the GoGo’s

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We used to have this rule in banking regarding the taking of vacations.  Even though you only had 3 weeks in the early part of your career, you were required to take two of those weeks at the same time.  The idea was that if you were gone for an extended period of time, there would be ample room for any potential financial impropriety to surface.

They needed you to be away for an extended period of time.

Perhaps it was that I had a more laissez-faire boss or possibly the financial requirements of a family 8 were the reason, but in 20+ years of banking, I never took more than a one week vacation.  Toward the end of my banking career, I even tried to get them to let me carry over some weeks so that I could take 4 weeks in a row while serving at a Young Life camp with my entire family.  The answer was “no”.  It was one of those proverbial straws on the camel’s back. 

Somehow I knew that if I could spend a month away in the mountains of my beloved Colorado, it would change my life.  Once we began to build our coaching practice, one of the first things I did was take a two-week and then a three-week vacation.  Our family approached it like living somewhere else for a season instead of just visiting.  I was doing some writing every morning from a coffee shop, but I was able to be away from the office for 3 straight weeks.

Ironically, one of the bars established by many thought leaders in the coaching world has to do with vacation.  If your business has truly matured and arrived, you should be able to take extended vacations without the business missing a beat.  The fact that you’ve designed a business that can’t function without you confirms that you haven’t really created a business, you’ve just created a job.

One of our clients claimed he hadn’t ever been away from his business for more than a few days.  The opportunity presented itself to be gone to the mountains for 7 consecutive days.  He was convinced that it couldn’t be done.  But he has articulated the culture and everyone knows what is expected from their positions.  The vision is clear and the team meets regularly and can run the business without him being there.

He created a file.  He laid out the company’s plans for the week and lined out each worker’s responsibilities.  They met as a team and committed to handle the problems they encounter without his input.  Typically, his phone buzzes throughout the day with calls and texts requiring his input, but strangely it never buzzed once during that week.  They all rose to the occasion.

They needed him to be away for an extended period of time.

He came back a changed man, as I do after every one of my extended vacations.  His heart and mind were clearer.  He was operating with the freedom that only comes from realizing that everyone doesn’t depend on you.

He needed to be away for an extended period of time.

Consider

• Is the idea of a vacation a far-flung notion?

• Do you take vacations and encourage your team to do the same?

• What needs to happen next in order to create a company that can function without you?

• Where are you going to go for 2-3 weeks?

Selected

“But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.”

- Peter

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Do you remember that precious moment when you first knew? Maybe it was from that boy or that girl who responded in kind with the heart you had for them. Perhaps it was in that kind gesture of one of your parents that seemed way beyond their parenting requirement. Or possibly that coach or teacher who extraordinarily offered their interest and invested in you.

When did you first know that you were really loved?

For many of us, knowing we were loved involved being chosen, selected, or picked from other possible alternatives.

I knew it when the girl I loved said I was the one for her too (we just celebrated our 30th year as husband and wife).  

I felt it when three great guys honored me as their fourth roommate (they changed my life through the thousands of hours we spent together over the 4 years we were roommates).

I sensed it when I was selected for a job that I desperately needed but thought I didn’t qualify for (that turned into a two-year odyssey to Chicago that altered the course of my career and my family’s life).

I knew it when a small group of men decided to band together with me to do life and ministry together (we are on our 12th year of ministry together with over 1,000 men having come through the retreats we lead).

I felt it immediately when an executive coach identified my purpose and calling in our first meeting (I decided in that moment to pursue a vocation journey that has turned into a decade of working with hundreds of leaders and organizations).

I feel it every week when other members of the tribe I am doing vocational life with continue to show up for the meetings we set and do the work we do together.

I am reminded by it every major holiday when my six children, their spouses, and now grandchildren choose to spend time with my wife and me. 

And now, watching The Chosen series by Dallas Jenkins (available on Youtube, Chosen App, etc.) is helping me feel loved and chosen in a way I have never known before.  We have all read the stories of Mary, Nicodemus, the woman at the well, and all those rascal disciples before.

But the way he depicts Jesus is changing my understanding of being loved and reminding me in new ways what being chosen by him really means.  I see myself in the prostitute, the greedy tax collector, the prideful religious leadership, the oppressive rule of the Romans, the innocent children, and the disenfranchised Jew.

While I carry pieces of all of them, Jesus relentlessly pursues me just as he chases after all of them.  Not to call them out or even identify the obvious flaws in their characters, but selecting each of them and loving the intended glory of their lives into existence.  

Such mercy and kindness.  Never shaming, never condemning.

He chooses.  He pursues.  He woos them from the life and identity they know towards the one intended.

I don’t have the capacity to pursue others in love until I fully live in the reality that I have already been chosen and loved first.  I cannot lead with a whole heart.  I cannot cultivate the best version of others.  I cannot reach for the art of the possible while drawing in the reality of things as they are.

I have been chosen.  I am loved.  There is a better version of me emerging and it requires that I fight for the aspirational identity possible in everyone and everything.

Consider

• When do you first remember being chosen?

• Can you feel the weight of that even as you read this?

• Are you operating out of the abundance that comes with that?

• How is it requiring you to lead and love differently as a result?

Rich

“Eventually all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood, and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by waters.”

- Norman Maclean

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We are in this incredibly invigorating season where all the tools, exercises, processes, and experiences we have curated are finding their greatest purchase.  We are not only doing the inevitable pivoting related to the social distancing we are all practicing but translating what we do for different audiences in new ways.

Over the last few years, we have begun helping families of means chart healthier and more inspired futures.  Now, we are not financial planners and we can’t help them with crafting trusts or legal structure, but there are essential things that have to occur before you can do those things if you are going to do them well.

This is some of the richest and most rewarding work we do.  

Our process, borrowing wildly from what we do with corporate teams consists of several simple (but not easy) steps.

1. Strengthen relationships among the family members.  This the foundation of all foundations required to produce the best results.  We help them say the things that they deeply appreciate, but often don’t find the words or the opportunity to share.

2. Help them reconstruct their family’s history.  The narrative of their life story, resting on the foundation of strengthening renewed relationships, holds embedded values, culture, and contains essential learning necessary for marking a path in the future.

3. We construct a list of criteria for decision making and use them to filter the decisions the families are facing.

4. With clear decisions made, we help them build an inspired future they can get excited about and find agreement.

5. We help them build the plan to realize that inspired future.

We conduct interviews with key stakeholders off-line before the meetings begin.  We come to the table as trained guides with maybe a deeper understanding of the family’s unique and collective desires than anyone.  We make sure the difficult tensions are managed and that the important problems get resolved.

We help these fantastic families do what they could likely never accomplish on their own.

These are the most sensitive relationships in all our lives.

They hold the greatest opportunity for restoration and glory.

They almost never realize that potential.

These conversations with families are requiring us to rely more on our coach training, strategic planning experience, processes, procedures, and organizational health acumen, than any corporate engagement we have.

And it is yielding rich, rich results.

There is a river, a thread, running through the narrative and relationship of every family.  It can run in a clearer and ever more glorious direction in the future or it can evaporate into a dry riverbed.  We can be forever haunted by what could have been or lean into the opportunity.

It is completely within your power to decide.

Consider

• How strong are the relationships with your siblings or extended family?

• Are you all clear and committed to the same future?

• Do you think you could reasonably take your own family on the journey articulated in the steps above?

• Is it time for your family to engage someone else to help?

Revealing

a·poc·a·lyp·sis

Etymology

From Ancient Greek

Noun

1. reveal, disclose

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Since there has been a defined world, someone has been talking about the end of it.  Those that organize under a Christian worldview have been particularly guilty.  Planning of the impending inevitability of that end has had some pretty horrendous outcomes.  Do I need to remind anyone of Jim Jones, David Koresh, or the Heaven’s Gate whack-jobs?!

But this all introduces an important tension we must all manage.

• Paul told us that we won’t know the hour or the day.  We should all just pretty much live each day as if it is our last.

• Jesus chastised the religious leaders of his day for not interpreting the times of what was going on around them.

Should we live with a clear interpretation of the lateness of the hour or just aggressively live every day with the understanding that we may not have any others?  I think the answer is both, but maybe not in a way you might think.  

The bible talks extensively about an “apocalypse”.  This is a destruction of the world and things as they seem to be playing out, in order to set the stage for the restoration of all things.  A coming and an establishing of things as they are intended to be.  The pages of the revelation can read pretty harrowing.

But there is another term rooted in the other, “apocalypsis”, that points to another interpretation of how we should live.  It is more thoughtful, contemplative, and maybe, more actionable.

You would have to live in a cave (with no wifi!) in order not to feel the vagaries of the times we are in.  Unrest of every kind (racial, economic, etc.), human trafficking, wealth distribution, disease, poverty, etc.  I could spend all five-hundred of my allocated words here just making a list.

As a very descriptive friend of mine says, “It is a real $#&! show out there.”

The value, and maybe the greatest opportunity for a change I am finding, is rooted in apocalypsis.  I do think we need to be paying attention to the times.  We should be on watch for the culmination of all things as the bible challenged us to be aware of, but if that doesn’t translate to living different, we have sort of missed the point.

The question I am asking friends, families, and clients has to do what is being revealed or newly disclosed through this season.  The simple answer is that an enormous amount is being revealed.  And it is unique and powerful for change for all of us.  If I am really honest with myself, some of what has been revealed is really beautiful and some is very hard.

But all of it is the pathway to tremendous opportunity for change and alignment with our God.  He is always in the business of revealing for the sake of our continued restoration.  Times like this just seem to have us in a better position to be open to that.

It should bring up some valuable questions….

Consider

• What has been revealed in your life, family, or company?

• What things do you need to deal with as a result?

• What understanding of a healthier or better life you’ve found needs to be memorialized and kept when things “get back to normal”?

Biology

“Culture eats strategy for breakfast, operational excellence for lunch, and everything else for dinner.”

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One of the things we like best about working with our corporate clients is that we get to know all the key stakeholders.  Sometimes when just working with an individual executive, there are parts of their companies or even partners that we never get to really engage.  Almost like a counselor working with a challenging marriage and never meeting the other spouse.

But every once in awhile, we start with an individual leader and then get to move beyond them with the rest of the team.

We began working with the quintessential perfect client a couple of years ago.  He was not only the typical entrepreneur, he was atypically an incredible executor.  He moved through our roadmap with precision.  He created core values, a purpose statement, and crafted a vision statement.  He built an organizational design to help serve the strategic plan to fulfill that vision.

Virtually everything changed in his leadership, his team, and partnership.  He asked that we take a deeper step into his organization.  We began coaching his COO, meeting with the leadership team on a quarterly basis, and meeting with his partner one-on-one.

Meeting with his business partner has been one of the more pleasant surprises this year.  He not only fully embraced the cultural, leadership, and organizational changes, but has become an enthusiastic fan.  

In an initial conversation, he described the power of core values more clearly than any leadership book I’ve ever read:

He said their core values were now woven into the biology of the company and were like precision tools strategically applied for change and impact.

He went on to share how leaning into their core values during the COVID-19 crisis has made this season effortless and invigorating.  Rather than waiting for clients to approach him about renegotiating contracts, he preemptively called every one of them to discuss their value of “mutually profitable relationships”.

Rather than wait for the awkward conversations he likely would have had with many of their clients as a result of the economic implications of the crisis, he actually strengthened each of them.  He did the right thing based on their culture for the right reason.  It just turned out to also be an incredibly strategic business move.

We’ve said for months now that this kind of season will reveal the best or worst in people.  We will find out who they truly are.  

Without…

• translating and memorializing the best things about us,

• articulating a culture that can be increasingly fulfilled,

• or leaning into that clearly identified sense of who we are and intend to be as a culture,

…what everyone is likely to see is the worst version of who we are, motivated by our fear in all the uncertainty.

But this leader is in a radical season of deconstructing and reconstructing.  As he is finding the best version of himself, he is leaning and willing the best version of his partnership as well.  He sees the fulfillment of their values being realized in every employee and client relationship as his personal responsibility.

Talking with him is one of the most invigorating conversations I am enjoying this season.  Inspirational doesn’t seem quite enough to capture it!

Consider

• How are you responding to this season?

• Has the most inspired version of your organization been articulated?

• Is that what you are offering, or are you finding the worst of your leadership and organization in fear and uncertainty?

Create

“They [the arts] are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.”

 - Kurt Vonnegut

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In a coaching conversation last week, I was asking what made this man really come alive in his relationship with God. What fed his soul. When did he feel most connected to the heart of the Father.

Like many of us, this pandemic season has done a number on him. Working at home from his bedroom with the kids screaming in the background, managing this crisis from his new leadership role at work with the added bonus of a neighbor doing lawn work for 4 straight hours outside of his window every day, had sucked the life out of him. He knows this is a season, but he also knows the way he's operating inside of it isn't sustainable.

Back to the original question: "What makes you come alive in your relationship with God? What feeds your soul?" 

This successful businessman, husband, and father replied in this way:

"When I'm painting." 

Well, I didn't see that one coming. But I love those kinds of surprises!

In his own way, he went on to give me the usual excuses and disclaimers I hear when someone shares their unique creative outlet or desire: 

"I don't do it for others, I do it for myself."

"My paintings aren't that good, though."

"I mean, it's not like I want to sell them or anything."

Creating something, anything, feels vulnerable. And that's exactly the point. It feels vulnerable because to create something, we have to tap into our hearts...not simply our minds. And that feels risky.

So, we try to manage the expectations of others. Or worse, we never do the thing at all. This may not seem like that big of a deal, but if this is the very thing that would feed your soul and connect you to God, it's a HUGE deal. 

I love the quote by Kurt Vonnegut because he adequately captures the concept that creativity gets us out of our heads and back into our hearts. In his words, "it makes our souls grow." 

Many of us won't begin any creative process because of our fear of it not being "perfect". If it can't be perfect, which is a completely relative concept, then it shouldn't be done at all. 

But this misses the point of creating. 

Creating is about the process. It's what happens while you're creating that feeds the soul most. Not the final product. Yes, it feels good to complete it. To be proud of it. But to actually have been the one to create it, that is the gold. 

All of us are wired to be creative. It's in our nature. It's one of the ways we most acutely reflect the image of the One who created us. To deny our creativity is to deny an important part of our humanity. My quarantine challenge to you is to simply "do the thing." Do you like to paint? Write? Do you like to cook or plant flowers? I'm not asking what you're good at, I'm asking what feeds your soul. Those aren't synonymous, believe it or not.

You have more time at home than you've ever had in your life. So what are you going to make? Your soul will thank you for it, and as a result, so will the people around you. 

Consider:

• What feeds your soul?

• When's the last time you created something using more than just your mind?

• What are you going to create today?

Fractal

in·fi·nite

/ˈinfənət/

adjective

1. limitless or endless in space, extent, or size; impossible to measure or calculate.

---

We all know how to draw a pine tree, right? You’ve likely been drawing them since grade school. It was sort of an elongated green triangle with a couple of ridges down the side and a simple trunk extending from the bottom to attach it to the ground. At a distance, even a photograph of a pine tree would reflect something similar.

And if you outlined that shape, based on a photograph, you could reasonably quickly calculate the surface area of that pine tree. But everything would change if the photographer approached the tree. It is no longer an elongated simple triangle shape, but something of that similar outlined area comprised of hundreds of branches supporting thousands of needles.

And if you were to try and measure the surface area of that pine tree, taking into account every needle and branch, it would require an almost infinite calculation that is increasing over time. That is essentially what “fractal” means. A repeating pattern in nature that increases what appears to be a simple shape into an infinite amount of surface area.

One of my good friends is incredibly bright. He has one of those mathematical/engineering/scientific minds. And while he is every bit of that, he is also very kind, thoughtful, and one of the best business leaders I know. He is also on an aggressive journey to become an even better man. The man that God wants him to be.

He was outside at a large ranch, praying, crying out to God. He wanted God to reveal some things he needed to know about himself. And if he is like the rest of us, maybe a little frightened about what God might show him in those unknown places.

What he sensed that God was saying was unexpected, overwhelming, and very emotional.

“I love you more than you will ever know.”

That is a pretty overwhelming thing to hear. Something that, if you really believed it, could change the course of your life. Even though it was years ago, it was as fresh as yesterday in his retelling. What more would you ever want to hear from God?

But this man is on a journey. He is looking for more. He recently dedicated an hour one morning to “hear” from God. God took him back to that moment on that ranch and told him something that he did not expect. He showed him that what he “understood” at that moment was partially wrong.

While there was this love he had for him that was of greater magnitude than he previously believed, he had in him the capacity to know all that love. It was the ‘more than you will ever know” part that he got wrong.

And then God explained what he meant to this math/science/engineering type of a man by talking about fractals. That idea of repeating patterns that produced an almost infinite amount of surface area. While he is slender and six feet tall and of a seemingly finite dimension and shape, there is an endless surface area of fractal dimension to receive and hold the expanses of God’s love for him.

He needed the courage and vulnerability to ask.

He needed to believe that there was more.

He needed to be still and quiet enough to hear the love of God in a way specially crafted for this man unique in all the world.

What does this have to do with becoming a great leader?  

Everything.

We can recognize God at a distance through a primitive felt cut-out from a Sunday school class or deeply understand and know him through study, conversation, and shared experience.  It is the same with every employee or person you lead.

Consider

• What are the biggest questions you are asking about your life?

• Who are you taking those questions to?

• Do you have the courage to take those questions to God?

• How would that change your life and your relationship with everyone else you lead?

Superhero

superhero

[ soo-per-heer-oh ]

noun

1. a benevolent fictional character with superhuman powers, such as Superman.

---

In A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, Lloyd Vogel is a reporter to be feared.  No one wants to be interviewed by a guy who is known to take a hatchet to everything and everyone he chooses to target with his writing.  But Fred Rogers not only doesn’t fear him but relentlessly pursues him.  The hunter becomes the hunted.

The assault on Lloyd’s heart and life by Fred Rogers eventually starts to turn the tide.  Lloyd’s incredulous response to Fred turns to amusement and finally to deep respect.  He ends up asking Fred’s wife an interesting question:

Lloyd Vogel:  “How does it feel to be married to a living saint?”

Joanne Rogers:  “If you think of him as a saint, then his way of being is unattainable. He’s not a perfect person. He has a temper. He chooses how he responds to that anger.”

Her comments stopped me in my tracks.  It brought to mind some powerful teaching I sat under at a men’s event in Colorado many years ago.  The speaker said that Jesus wasn’t a superhero.  Meaning, he didn’t have superpowers and wasn’t superhuman.  He was a person just like you and I, with one powerful distinction.

He was super-connected to his heavenly father.

His power.  

His authority.  

His ability to do the miraculous.

All sourced from his relationship with the Father.

So what does that mean for you and me?  What did it mean for Fred Rogers?  If we look at the life of Jesus, he offers some incredible clues.  He said he only did what the Father told him.  And the narrative tells us almost as much about his getting away to source the Father as it does about the stuff he did.  

And then he says this,

“Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these…”

And in his ascension, he pretty much passes the baton on everything that needs to be accomplished and even grants the authority he had on to us as well.  

If Fred Rogers was a saint, then his way of being is unattainable.

If Jesus Christ was a saint, then his way of being is unattainable.

Look a little closer at the biblical narrative, at some of the heroes of the bible, or even the life of Jesus.  They aren’t superheroes, but ordinary people super-connected to the father.  Super faithful.  Super obedient.  Super humble.

Most of us feel like we are the other guys and girls.  Not exceptional, gifted, or extraordinary like the others.  Nothing particularly special about us.  It is a comforting fact to know that being truly special and maybe even super is so attainable.  We all have the opportunity to be super-connected to the source of life that allows us all to be extraordinary.

Consider

• Do you feel like your life and your days hold the opportunity for the extraordinary?

• Do you feel a sense of power and authority in your leadership responsibilities?

• Where are you sourcing that ability from?

Rally

ral·ly

/ˈralē/

verb

1. come together again in order to continue fighting after a defeat or dispersion

2. recover or cause to recover in health, spirits, or poise

---

When it comes to surveying employees, no one comes close to the Gallup organization.  They’ve been doing it for more than 80 years, they have 35 million workers in the survey database, and 90% of all Fortune 500 companies use their CliftonStrengths.  When they say something about what the average employee is thinking or feeling, we would all do well to pay attention.

We reference their annual engagement survey all the time.  You could read more about in our blog post, Drag.  You should really be familiar with that if you aren’t already.

Gallup says that then universal needs all employees are:

• Trust

• Compassion

• Stability

• Hope

Those are, by the way, universal in every season and environment.  It is especially true in times of uncertainty like these.  And none of that should surprise any of us.  Think about how those needs land with you right now or think back to another time of economic uncertainty or any season of the unknown in your personal or professional life.

If you are not addressing those needs with your employees, it is seriously costing you in terms of engagement, productivity, and commitment to your company and its’ mission.  Gallup says that when you check these boxes, particularly in challenging times, there is an incredibly resilient “rally effect” that takes place among teams.  

Every great sports movie has some version of this from Miracle (1980 U.S. Hockey team taking on the Russians) to Hoosiers (the boys from small-town Hickory, Indiana taking on the state’s biggest schools) to the kids from The Sandlot (confronting “the beast” to get their Babe Ruth signed baseball back!)

Gallup sent out a very short “pulse” survey to their massive database to get a sense of how workers were doing right now.  They created a list of 5 essential things that leaders should be doing in this season.

1.  Have a clear plan of action - their survey indicated that only 39% of employees said they felt management had a clear plan of action

2.  Make sure employees feel well-prepared to do their jobs - 54% of employees felt like they are well prepared to do their jobs in this environment - we are adapting well to the change

3.  Keep your employees informed on what is going on - only 48% of survey respondents felt like their direct supervisor was keeping them informed about what is going on

4.  Make sure your employees know you care about their well-being - only 45% of all employees feel strongly that their employers care about their well-being.  (Gallup says there are five areas where you can express care for their well-being: career, social, financial, community and physical)

5.  Make sure you are setting high standards for social distancing - this is the quickest way to “flatten the curve” and employers need to set the standard and improve safety for all their employees

Patrick Lencioni says that no company will return to the way things were before this crisis.  All will be changed.  Some will be better and some worse.  Addressing these issues is how you emerge stronger and riding the wave of the “rallying effect” that happens to all great teams in times of difficulty.

Consider

• Do you feel like you typically do a good job of addressing the four universal needs Gallup mentioned above?

• How well are you are doing in this season of addressing the five essential things that Gallup recommends?

• What is the one thing you need to do that you aren’t currently doing that could help rally your team?

Surgical

Surgical 

sur·gi·cal

1. of surgeons or surgery

2. used in or connected with surgery

3. resulting from or after surgery

4. of or like surgery or a surgical procedure in being regarded as very accurate, precisely targeted

---

We’ve been watching “The Messiah” series on Netflix.  No, I don’t think it is or was intended to be strictly biblical truth.  In fact, like much of the bible, there is some interpretation required if you are going to try to bring some of that narrative to life.  I am trying to watch it not as gospel, but as a thought-provoking interpretation.

One interesting thing I am wakening to is the precise way Jesus applied his life.  Clearly, he righted some of the wrongs the first time he showed up but also walked right by many other significant things that needed to be done.  This second coming of him on the show does similar things.  Appearing in the narrative, doing Jesus stuff, and then disappearing with still a lot of wrongs to be righted, left behind.

He seems to know the right things to say and not say.  The right things to do and not do.  He says he only does what his Father says.  (A pretty strong clue there on how we should operating!)

The word that keeps coming to mind is “surgical”.  He invades and deals with a situation with more of a scalpel than a mallet.

I was meeting with a client.  And as most senior executives or owners do, he was wrestling with the level of his contribution.  He was talking about time in the office, weeks thrown at problems, and that omnipresent sense that he is just not doing enough.

But as we started to talk about what he had been working on, another picture appeared.  Crucial conversations he had, key potential client engagements made, and possible mergers investigated.  Though this impact doesn’t always show up in the way we measure success (it will show up in the KPI’s later), the impact is profound and meaningful.  And it is the kind of thing that only they can do.

Almost surgical.

I mean the way we traditionally measure the success of a church is butts in the seats and shekels in the offering place.  Attendance and offerings.  

Jesus seemed pretty much unilaterally disinterested in either of those things.  And yet in the brief time he spent here and the few encounters we know about him, he surgically did the things necessary to start a movement that would change the world.

As a senior leader, are you doing only the things that only you can do?  Do you have the confidence to step back, look at things strategically, and then, like a surgeon, apply yourself in just the few ways that provide the greatest contribution?

It is rare that I meet with a leader that can’t simply articulate what those things are.  Some of the reasons we have discovered are:

• we like doing the things that are most noticeable

• we have a lot of guilt about not doing the work everyone else is doing

• we don’t have the confidence in our role and contribution to do those things

• we want everyone else to feel like we are not above the work we are asking them to do

I understand all of those responses.  I have uttered them and operated from under their oppressive weight.  They are also the path to things not really changing and you not finding the path to your “surgical” greatest contribution.

Consider

• Do you find yourself doing the work that others should be doing?

• Why is that?

• What 2-3 things need to be done that only you can do?  Make a list.

• Which one are you going to do first?

Drinking

“Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks. God never made an ugly landscape. All that the sun shines on is beautiful, so long as it is wild.”  

- John Muir

---

We haven’t felt settled.  There are many obvious things we could point to over the last six months: moving to a new area of town, getting settled and reestablished, a very disruptive trip to South Africa, welcoming a third grandchild, raising three teenagers, the normal business dissonance to accompany the beginning of a new year, etc.

But when I asked my wife to capture what she was feeling, she said, “My soul is not at rest.”  So poignantly and perfectly said.  Because all that change ultimately lands at our souls just not feeling at rest.  There are all the usual answers to feeling that way that we could offer:  prayer, quiet, reading God’s truth, and sleep to name just a few.  And those are all really important.

But the third chapter of Eldredge’s latest book, Get Your Life Back, reminds us of something way more primal that we often overlook.  We are were created to drink in beauty as an essential part of our being.  And it isn’t the thing that a trip to the islands can cure once a year (though that is a pretty amazing away to take some ground).  We need a regular diet of taking in beauty.

Now some of that has to do with just acknowledging some of the beauty that is all around us (a child’s face, a garden, a kind gesture), but the kind that old Muir is talking about has to do with immersion and getting out “there”.  He talks about the wildness of nature and how evocative the creation is of the creator.  It connects us in a way that nothing else can.

It is one of the things that make our souls well.

I asked my wife to tell me what makes her soul feel at rest…when she experiences what Muir is describing.  She said she always felt it on our sunset Jeep cruises we used to do a couple of times a week in the Hill Country before we moved back into town.  Surrounded by hills, Jeep top down, wind in her hair, and the sunset in front of us.

Since she told me that, I have made it a point to chase the sunrise or sunset to start or end every day or two.  Regardless of whatever is going on, we are slipping out to take in some beauty.  The creation connects us to the creator and to one another.  We are still and quiet, even as we are in motion.   It is an act of worship for us that makes it well with our souls.

I recently booked our anniversary trip to Big Bend.  The season is screaming at us to not getaway and we had to settle on only 4 days, but we are headed to the mountains to do some drinking. 

I am guessing you should probably do the same.

Consider

• Are you aware of your need to experience beauty?

• When is the last time taking in a part of creation made you feel really connected to the creator?

• Is it well with your soul?

• How much is costing those you love and lead in your family and company to not have things well with your soul?

Camp

“Contrary to some common assumptions, Jesus is not the ultimate Answer Man, but more like the Great Questioner. In the Gospels, Jesus asks many more questions than he answers. Asking questions was central to Jesus’ life and teachings. In fact, for every question he answers directly he asks—literally—a hundred.”  

- Martin B. Copenhaver

---

I was a child of uncertainty.  There weren’t a lot of clear boundaries placed on me from an early age.  We moved numerous times and our economic situation felt very feast or famine.  Life felt arbitrary and unsafe.

And I didn’t know what to do with those degrees of freedom.  I made really bad choices and would describe my early adolescence and teen years as pretty chaotic and destructive.  I had no answers to my bigger questions and no clear understanding of the right way forward.

People raised in chaos either live that way for the rest of their lives or make hard and determined choices in a different direction.  I was looking for a system of control, truth, moral absolutes, and clear right and wrongs.  I embraced the faith I found in college with open and fervent arms.  But all that narrative leading up to that time translated that message of freedom into a system of control.

In very much the style of a Western philosopher, I was seeking answers and certainty.  An Eastern philosophical approach made me very uncomfortable.  I surmised that every question had only one right answer.  Life was found in knowing all the right ones, not wrestling with big questions.  My absolutes were the only thing that made me feel safe, especially in terms of my Christian faith.

The more I looked past religion and all the absolutes of the box where I had safely placed God, the more unsettled I became.  In particular, by Jesus in the gospels:

• He asked 307 questions

• He was asked 183 questions

• But he answered only 3 

Wrestling with God to find the answers seemed like the place he wanted us to be rather than landing on some subset of truth where we could set up camp and get comfortable.  Asking more and better questions without having the answers seems more true.  And having to constantly source him to figure out the right next step, seems to require the greatest faith.

These ideas have completely transformed the way we coach.  We used to sit in front of others, Western philosophy intact, with bucketloads of wisdom, experience, knowledge, practices, and ideas.  We knew all the answers before the questions were asked or even before the situation in front of us was fully understood.

But true coaching doesn’t rest in having all the answers.  It essentially rests in knowing the right questions to ask.  To have a process of self-discovery that allows the person you are coaching to mostly figure it out on their own.  To partner with the Holy Spirit to reveal things previously unseen or understood.

But it also requires that we set all ego aside.  Our own need to come through, have all the answers, and be seen as valuable, are not helpful.  Ironically, all those decades of experience, best practices, systems, etc that we hold are incredibly valuable, but way more so as appropriated correctly.

Rather than standing at the ready to unload rounds of everything we know and can offer, we are doing something different.  We are more thoughtfully reaching into the quiver to pull out just the right arrow a process of questioning and discovery has warranted.  We are asking bigger questions as we are being guided and helping others find even bigger answers.

We are setting up camp there.  We sit around a fire that is ever-changing, gives us exactly what we need, and allows us to rest more comfortably in not having it all figured out.

Consider

• Do you feel like you have it all figured out?

• Are you wrestling with big questions?

• Are you finding big answers?

• Are you surrounding yourself with people who are asking big questions or those that think they have all the answers?

Wits

“If you can keep your wits about you while all others are losing theirs, and blaming you. The world will be yours and everything in it, what's more, you'll be a man, my son.”  

- Rudyard Kipling

---

We sent this communication to many of our coaching clients this morning.  We are preparing something similar for all our corporate clients as well.  We felt compelled to share it with you:

Dear Friend:

The world, at least for the moment, has changed. All of us, despite our opinions about the severity of COVID-19 are going to be forced to change as well. We, like many of you, were a bit skeptical as the early reports of the virus, and its’ possible impact was reported. It felt hysterical, overblown, and even reminded a bit of Y2K. And while the truth is still largely unknown, our values and purpose are requiring a different response.

As leaders who work with leaders, we felt a responsibility not merely to play defense but to play offense and encourage the others in our tribe to do the same. Leagues, tournaments, and festivals can delay or cancel. Our businesses and organizations all have to continue. We are all just going to have to learn to do business-almost-as-usual.

We spent a considerable amount of time in prayer and discussion on Friday. Looking for divine counsel to guide everything else we were hearing. We feel like there has never been a more crucial time to be banding together with other like-minded leaders to weather this storm. But given the circumstances and unknowns of this epidemic, we believe that gathering in person is prohibitive.

We want to be leaders on this issue also, not merely responders. Here are the steps we are taking:

• Our NGL and EB (group) meetings will be conducted by ZOOM this month, and every month after that until we feel it is prudent to gather again.

• Our one-on-one (coaching) meetings will be conducted by ZOOM this month and every month until we feel it is prudent to meet face-to-face again.

• We will devote one hour (or whatever time is necessary) at this week’s group meetings to discuss the virus, answer questions, and help each leader decide their course of action. Everyone has difficult decisions in front of them.

• We are encouraging you to read the sobering, but excellent scholarship applied to the subject in the article by Tomas Pueyo, “Coronavirus: Why You Must Act Now”.

• We are asking you to join us in praying for our country, the response of other leaders, and the many victims that will be affected.

We pray that these aggressive measures will allow us to help play our part in helping to “flatten the curve,” and we will be back to business-as-usual in a few months. Thank you for your consideration during this challenging time. Lindsay will be sending you all instructions related to the calls this week and for our one-on-ones ongoing.

Please let us know if you have any suggestions on how we can more effectively handle this situation. As co-heirs of God’s Kingdom, we need to be thoughtfully intentional in safeguarding all that we have been entrusted.

May God bless you, your enterprise, and your family during this challenging time.

The SummitTrek Team

Consider

• What was your internal response to the letter as you read it?

• What has been your reaction to the COVID-19 crisis so far?

• Do you feel like more is required?

• What does continuing to keep your business operating, business-almost-as-usual, require?

Easy

“Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace…Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  

- Jesus of Nazareth

---

I’ve got some really bad news to share with you, things are never going to get any easier.  In fact, the stakes are just going to keep increasing as you go through your life.  And there is a paradox that I am beginning to highlight in many coaching conversations:

We tend to over-simplify the situations of others and the difficulties they are facing, and we tend to over-complicate our own.

And while that may seem wildly obvious, try to remember it the next time you are reflecting on your situation or someone else’s.  As a person who is listening as a third-party advisor to a lot of leaders, I can tell you that it is incredibly common.  Noticing it in others has made me pretty ridiculously aware of it in my life as well.

And as challenging as life may seem in this season, let’s look at a few examples of how challenging they will likely be in the future.

• A toddler telling you “no” is not nearly as daunting as a teenager disagreeing with your parenting.

• The messes you have to clean up for a baby are laughable compared to the ones you will have to help with as your child moves toward adulthood.

• The consequences of a six-year old’s accident on their bike is a whole different world than those of your sixteen-year old’s in your car.

• The stress about saving for retirement may seem incredibly insignificant compared to the cancer and other health issues you may be dealing with once you get there.

• You may fondly remember the fear and loneliness you felt in starting your business compared to the responsibility of keeping your business going and caring for several dozen employees.

And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it just isn’t going to get easier.  It is going to get different and be more complicated, but it is not going to get easier.

So what is Jesus prattling on about in those verses above?  Rest?  Living freely and lightly?  Unforced rhythms of grace? 

Part of me wants to snuggle up into those ideas like a warm blanket on a cold day and another part of me wishes he would keep that stuff to himself!  I mean, does he know my life and my circumstance?!  Well, that is precisely the point, right?  

He knows what I have faced, what I am currently facing, and what I will face in the future.  He doesn’t come, magic wand in hand, to make it all go away and slow down all that change and increase the complexity of our lives as we, our children, and our businesses mature.

In fact, he offers another way, a different perspective, or a new attitude.  He doesn’t say that we should all just put on a happy face and resiliently ignore the challenges we face.  He says that “not in spite of, but because of” and even “through” all those challenges we can find a more peaceful way to live.

It just takes an attitude check and a different way of viewing things.  And attitude, as we all know, is 100% a choice.   Regardless of our circumstances.

Things will not get easier, but learning to live freely and lightly can make pretty much everything feel that way.

Consider

• Is your life stressful and overwhelming?

• Have you been secretly hoping that the circumstances would change and make things easier?

• How much time have you invested in trying to find a new perspective or attitude?

Detachment

“You must first empty yourself of that which you are full, so that you may be filled of that which you are currently empty.”  

~ Augustan

---

Our team has a Monday morning phone huddle.  Just thirty minutes or so, but we solidly connect and jumpstart our week.  We follow the same agenda every week.

• verse, idea, or question that we all share our thoughts around

• check-in from our weekend and a general check on how we are doing heading into the week

• review any calendar issues that need addressing for the week

• discuss any pressing issues that need addressing

Last week we started by asking everyone: What burdens or fears were we carrying that we needed to set aside?  I know, a pretty big question right out of the gate on a Monday morning, but that is sort of how we roll.  We’re all pretty used to responding to big questions on a moment’s notice.  Asking the questions no one else asks is part of one of our core values!

Our answers ranged from a list of big things (clients, kids, parents, etc.) to nothing.  The reality is that we are all carrying or shouldering big responsibilities, fears, or concerns.  We may not even be aware of them, but most of them are likely clanging around in our subconscious.

The author and speaker, John Eldredge, says that our souls were meant to be village-sized.  We were meant to be able to handle the trauma, difficulty, and concerns of a small village, town, or community.  Carrying the collective understanding of the weight of the world so readily available through our media channels is literally soul-crushing.

No wonder we are so heavily medicated.  Of course, uncertainty, anxiousness, and depression are so prevalent.  If we are too aware of all that is going on out there, it is a wonder we even get out of bed in the morning.

In his book, Get Your Life Back, chapter two teaches the practice of “benevolent detachment”.  A very simple, but powerful way to systematically pause several times a day and hand everyone and everything over to God.  The author discusses it in this podcast and if you go to the thirty-five-minute mark, he’ll actually walk you through the process.

(Ransomed Heart has also created a One-Minute Pause App where they will walk you through the benevolent detachment process in 1, 3, 5, and 10 versions.  Downloadable for free.)

We learned about this idea almost two years ago and have made it a regular practice for our team and us individually.  We’ve even taught and practiced it with some of our clients.  It has been a situational rescue and an overall lifesaver.

It has also made us more regularly aware of how much we are carrying around that isn’t ours to carry.  Part of the process is to begin listing the things that come to mind as you “detach”.  You might ask me how I am doing or what concerns I am carrying and I would typically tell you “great” and “none”.  

And I wouldn’t be lying.

And it wouldn’t be the truth.  

But I am becoming more of what I am carrying around and more practiced at benevolently detaching.  I am experiencing the easier burden and lighter yoke I’ve been offered and it is making all the difference.

Consider

• What concerns, fears or worries are you aware of right now?

• What are you not aware of but affected by just the same?

• Do you think your soul is exposed to more than it was meant to handle on a regular basis?

• How much of a rescue would it be for you to benevolently detach?